Alcohol Review: Laird Applejack Whiskey

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Grade: A

Introduction:

This product is exactly what it sounds like: whiskey infused with the delicious taste of carefully selected, tree-ripened apples. If any of you were hoping this was whiskey mixed with the flavor of Apple Jacks the cereal please stop reading now and go back to the 5^th grade. You aren't old enough to drink. And your mom would kill you if she saw you with this vile paper in your hand. Shame!

History:

The first bottle of Applejack was distilled in 1698 by a Scottish dude named Alexander something. He only made it for himself and a few friends though, which seems kind of dickish if you ask us, lthough hiding out in your cabin with your cronies drinking whiskey does seem like a smart alternative to living in disease-plagued colonial cities and constantly being on the run from scalp-hunting Native Americans. Eventually the recipe was passed down through the family and now, 300 years later, we all get to enjoy it. And enjoy it we did, this stuff is good.

Typical Drinker:

Men with ambitious mustaches, the four members of the AppleJack Ceilidh band (look them up, you'll thank us), Johnny Appleseed, confused 12-year-olds at breakfast time, your great great great great grandfather, guys attempting to convince their girlfriends that whiskey is good.

User Comments:

"I wonder if this is what the evil apple Eve ate tasted like."

"Now THIS is what apple cider should taste like."

"You think anybody's ever used this instead of milk with their Apple Jacks?"

Overall Opinion:

It's no secret that we love our whiskey here at The Black Sheep, and this is no exception. And make no mistake, this stuff tastes like whiskey first and apple a distant, distant second. We only stress this because we don't want all the whiskey drinkers out there to be scared off by the apple kick and think this is a pussy drink. It's stiff and smooth, just like our boners, and like our boners, we recommend it to anybody.

 

 

 

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