The Blacksheep Online | Movie Review: Cop Out

Movie Review: Cop Out

March 2, 2010 - 4:00 pm | Posted by: Dave

Director: Kevin Smith

Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott

Synopsis: Kevin Smith tries unsuccessfully to prove that he's a "real filmmaker" by ruining a cop movie with "real" actors and everything!

Grade: D

Of all the movie reviews I've done, I think the number one film that I overrated was Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I'm pretty sure I put it somewhere in the "B" grade range, and even at the time I wasn't sure why. It wasn't particularly funny, the dialogue wasn't smart, and the jokes seemed like something you'd find written inside the stall of a bathroom. And not one of those fancy prep school bathrooms where people write fake quotes like "I shit therefore I am" and attribute it to someone named Desfart. It was more like a bathroom stall at a poorly-reviewed restaurant that catered specifically to illiterate eight year olds.

Well now Kevin Smith is back with Cop Out, a movie of similar taste, and I'm not going to make the same mistake. I knew right when I saw the trailer that it would either be terrible or great; unfortunately, it's in the former category.

The story is one seen in numerous cop movies of the last 3 decades: two mismatched partners put their differences aside and work together to solve a crime. Sometimes these types of cop movies feature a black partner and a white partner for some added Odd Couple hilarity. Also there definitely has to be a scene where the cops get suspended from the force and have to prove themselves to their superior.

Cop Out, of course, has all three of these things because it's using them as means to pay homage buddy cop movies of the past. The specific crime is about a stolen baseball card and drug lords, but isn't too important for the film. The specific cops are Jimmy played by Bruce Willis (white guy) and Paul played by Tracey Morgan (black guy), and they too don't leave any lasting impressions. Yes, the movie is a parody of cop movies, but it doesn't seem to realize that cop movies are ripe for parody because besides a few great ones, they are usually clichéd and stupid.

But maybe all the problems could have been insignificant if the jokes were at least funny. Or maybe even if the jokes weren't funny, they could have at least been delivered well with some chemistry between the two cops. But besides a few scenes with Seann William Scott in the back of a cop car, and another with Tracey Morgan rambling about nothing, none of this happens.

The problem comes from the best sounding partners on paper, Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan, being the worlds worst partners on screen. From the way Willis and Morgan do scenes together you'd think they had zero experience in comedy, or even talking. A buddy cop movie featuring Chris Tucker and a potted plant would have acted better than them (Hollywood: don't steal this idea).

But because I'm still miffed about that whole Zack and Miri grading situation, I'm going to put all the blame in director Kevin Smith. For some reason, a studio allowed him to direct a film he didn't write, even though he's predominantly known for his dialogue. The script does manage to add some Smith-y touches here and there, but I'm not too sure what lame humor is his and what was already written.

Whatever the case, I have concluded that Kevin Smith must be some sort of real life Benjamin Button; it's the only way to explain how his movies have been getting less mature since 1997's Chasing Amy. Sure, the old, good ones still revolve around risqué sex acts, but Smith used to use dirty jokes as a way to provide interesting commentary about the indifference of 20-somethings living dead-end lives in New Jersey. But somewhere around Dogma, Kevin Smith got lazy and just started writing dirty dialogue for no reason. And sure, you could argue that 2004's Jersey Girl was maybe his most old-person movie ever because it was about a kid and death and Ben Affleck looking all serious. But really, that was just a movie about adults from the perspective of a person who doesn't understand them, i.e. a little kid. Now with Cop Out, Smith has made a movie from a perspective of someone who likes movies like 48 hrs and Lethal Weapon, but doesn't understand what sentences are or how to represent black people or use Bruce Willis, i.e. a semi-racist baby.

When Cop Out was in production it was called A Couple of Dicks, a pun on a nickname for police officers. Truth told, I'd rather see a few floppy ones on an eighty-foot screen than watch this heap again.