The Blacksheep Online | The State of Social Media Affairs

The State of Social Media Affairs

February 26, 2010 - 5:00 pm | Posted by: Lindsey

SocialMedia

The recent rise in popularity of social media fueled by Google, Facebook, and Twitter has revolutionized our lives. It's now easier than ever to stalk/mock/harass your ex's new love interest, learn about the hometown haps, and forward YouTube videos like they're hot. The fact that we have no option but to "connect" has also made it easier than ever for people to not only document their mental breakdowns, but share them with the world (or at least those who care to read).

There are varying degrees of acceptability when it comes to status updates. It's definitely acceptable to update your respective statuses every few days with intellectual break-throughs, info about upcoming events, or even some lyrics that you just can't shake. It is completely different, however, to expose the world to your innermost, personal thoughts on a bi-hourly basis. That shit belongs in a journal for your eyes only, not on the left-hand column of our inboxes. Some people get crafty and rotate their emotional demise, cycling through Facebook, Twitter, Gchat, and now the world's newest nuisance: Google Buzz. They think that if they spread out the pieces, no one will be smart enough to put the puzzle together. But we are. We see right through you. Let me demonstrate this phenomenon by exploiting my friend, Jess, and mapping all of her social activity over the course of a few days.

Jessica Angela class was rough today. I can't wait until may.

February 20 at 6:16pm

jessa79's new status message - homework. ice cream. morrrre homework.

10:26pm

bella_jess great. now my mom isn't returning my calls.

9:00am Feb 21^st from web

jessa79's new status message - anyone wanna grab a drink? i need one real bad.

6:36pm

bella_jess anyone wanna grab a drink? i need one real bad.

6:37pm Feb 21^st from web

Jessica Angela: why is it so hard to get a date (or even a friend)? what did I do to deserve this? I only gained like 7 pounds, people. And the doctor said that the rash will clear up any day now.

February 21 at 10:43pm

jessa79's new status message - seriously, these homework problems make no sense, people WILL NOT quit emailing me, and this double cheeseburger is greasing up my keyboard.

11:00pm

jessa79's new status message - twitter is overcapacity? Is nothing sacred? I have no one to turn to...

12:14am

jessa79's new status message - the future is looking pretty grim here...

1:30am

bella_jess I think the bus I'm on just hit a pedestrian. If only this was the low-point of my day. It's not even noon...

10:42am Feb 22^nd from TweetDeck

Jessica Angela: things suck now, they really do, but aren't they supposed to? Are any of us at 20-25 really supposed to be THAT happy?

Feb 22 at 7:15pm

jessa79's new status message- Is it normal to hyperventilate into a paper bag...filled with rubber cement?

8:30pm

jessa79's new status message - everything is echoing. my body feels warm. I don't know anything.

8:32pm

Jessica Angela: well yesterday was an exciting change of pace...welcome back to sober reality, jess.

Feb 23 at 9:00am

bella_jess there's not even a point anymore. i'm dumber than the kid who delivers my newspaper, my future is homelessness, no one retweets me, and men laugh at the sight of me.

1:15pm Feb 23^rd from TweetDeck

Jessica Angela: I wonder if anyone even reads this. Does anyone care? Hello?

Feb 23 at 7:48pm

Only future status updates will tell what eventually happens to our amiga Jess, but one thing is for sure: an innocent status can descend into a spiral of self-pity and despair in the click of a mouse. People go from being perfectly ordinary to an abuser of art supplies before our mini-feed even has time to refresh. These mental breakdowns may serve as entertainment for us onlookers, but imagine being in the head behind the keystrokes. They may not even realize that they're doing it, so bear with them. Feel free to laugh at these overzealous updaters behind their backs and forward along their status updates so that your other friends can join in on the fun too. Just be nice to their face; they can't take any more heartache. But be careful because you could just as easily be the next victim of such a virtual collapse. In the meantime, I'll be "following" you...