Women's History Month?

---

My boyfriend, Adam, just told me something that seems to be out of fantasy book: March is officially Women's History Month. How many of you actually knew that? Probably none of you. Even more interesting-how many of you care? No one, of course, not even our school.  

I checked my college's calendar, and the school isn't hosting specials events for women like it does for Black History Month or Hispanic Heritage Month. It's even sadder because Women's History Month was established in 1987, and for the twenty years of my submissive, female existence in the kitchen I have been ignorant of this fact. And now that I finally know, I am a true believer of the saying, "Ignorance is bliss."

This year's official theme for Women's History Month is "Writing Women Back into History". However, we shouldn't be allowed into history. Don't you see it? It's called HIS-tory for a reason. Also, since when have we known how to read and write? Oh...wait a minute. I guess we have known, but the men are the ones that taught us. We've already done our part in history. We have been the nurses in wars, we have cooked the meals, and we raise the kids. Being women, shouldn't we be the ones to be okay with not having any of the glory or fame? Seen but not heard people, that's why we make such good models. The Founding Fathers seemed to have gotten on well without any mention of Founding Mothers. Plus, we like being treated like objects anyway. It's true. Don't deny it. Why do you think we haven't protested Susan B. Anthony or Sacajawea being on a coin?

I have so many feminist friends, yet none of them ever mentioned this to me. I suppose that they were too busy shopping for suitpants to ever educate themselves on this issue. And with year-round coins honoring our sisters and Macy's sales always around the corner, why do we need our own month? We already have a "time of the month", and putting all those days together we're menstruating about two months out of the year. That's even better than one month!         

Plus in this country we have all the power. Girl Power! Men may have Steak and BJ Day during March, but guess who can withhold giving the BJs? We can! We're the ones that withhold sex from our men because they forgot to put the toilet seat down, because they didn't text us "Good night" after they have already said it in person, and because they aren't as hot as Edward or Jacob and their bodies don't sparkle in the sun. Heck, we even have our own song that empowers women everywhere-"Single Ladies".

 Lastly, on behalf of all women, we shouldn't argue with men on the double standards society has created for us. Many of us women get upset when we think about how if a man gets around with a lot of women, then he is a stud, but if a woman spreads their legs like butter, she's considered a whore. Because by thinking about this in a logical manner, this double standard actually makes sense: If a key can open a lot of locks, then it is called a master key. But if a lock can be opened my many keys, then it is called a shitty lock. So girls, don't get down for getting around-just blame your faulty lock. 

Even though it's caused us to argue, I'm still happy that Adam told me about Women's History Month. It signals the start of spring, and gives me an easy excuse when I want to feel important. Gosh, Adam seems to know everything, it must be true what they say. He is definitely God's gift to Earth.

 

 

 

---

---

Write a comment

Name:
Email:
Subject:
Comment: *

Help prevent spam - enter security code above: