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Night On the Town in Lexington

 

It’s Thursday night, you’ve finished the last season of True Detective, and you just got a new fake ID that looks just like you (somewhere in the cheekbones… nose shape? Idk). You’ve ditched your lanyard and your endless stream of mediocre frat parties. What is a Wildcat to do but head out to the bars? As a case study, and definitely not to get Patrick Swazzeeey, we sent one of The Black Sheep writers to take to the streets of Lexington and check out the most popular bars around town. Here were her experiences of that fateful evening.

 

Tequila Sunrise #1

 

1

 

At 10:30 p.m. I set out on my journey. There are a lot worse things I would do for 10 Dollars All-You-Can-Drink than listen to the same music and see the same people every week. Good thing them songs is my jammm and those are my peoples. Turn uppp. This place has been around since my dad was coming here getting trashed and making questionable life decisions with his friends back in the 80’s. I was probably conceived in the bathroom. Awesome.

 

Tequila Sunrise #5

 

2

 

My cheeks is a lil flustered but I’m feelin’ like I better move on to the next spot for ya. I’m really in need of a man bun to squeeze and a beard to tickle me in all the right places. Therefore I’m scootin’ down Euclid into this dark sketchy m’fer. Forreal, the band they got playin is dope like the pope and local. It’s a bit dark and I feel like I’m in Pulp Fiction, but these homies seem cool as hell and no one looks like a clone ass mc’frat star. I’m about to dip out back and smoke a doobie with this cool dude with a Wu-Tang tattoo and then see what else I can get into.

 

Tequila Sunrises #8

 

3

 

Yo I straight up just rolled down this big ass hill? First I walked into one of these downtown spots but all I seen was ol boys looking like they whack off to cartoon porn. I had to make like England and get outta that Irish bihhhh. I much rather be up here in this one with the epilepsy inducing strobe light getting grinded on by a questionably straight sweaty 28 year old on the dance floor n drinkin 8 dolla shots.. Wait why tf did I leave the firsst plaace….

 

11??? Tewuils Suntises

 

4

 

I is back were I begun. I cant geta nuffa dis place!!! That’s just the way it issss *Tupac Voice* Yo there’s my homies up in our boothhh!! I’m bouta get up on dis bitch and twerk to my man Fettyy. I seen all me friends plus one hunnid peeps I know from elsewhere plus 8 professors and ya moms cousins husbands daughter. Errybody in this bitch. I came back just in time for the line dancessss and I be sick as fuckk on some Copperhead road yall. Hahaha did u hear Tiller shouted us out on his song? Q?!!? Lols I love collage.

 

Tewuila sunrisr #3, 4, Mebee???

 

5

 

Bruuuuuglah dret scruhh nuu rezzloooshun!! Nigh Nigh nowh.

It is fun to explore the night life of Lexington, especially on Thursday nights when tons of places have drink specials. The important lesson learned here? Don’t schedule Friday classes. Free my baby daddy. RIP my dead homies. Get rich or die tryin’. Go Cats.

 

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