Nothing warms the heart in this weather more than a deep dish pizza. This might not be restaurant quality, but hey, let’s just pretend you had enough foresight to call the ole pie shop before you got high.
What You’ll Need: A frozen pizza (hell no, we aren’t making jack shit from scratch), a 5 lb. bag of cheese of your choice, and whatever other toppings your heart desires.
Fatty Factor: Enough to clog your arteries.
Let’s Get Baked:
– Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
– Unwrap the frozen pizza and drop handfuls of cheese all over it.
– If you have any extra toppings, start layering them between cheese like you would taco dip.
– If there’s anything still left in the bag of cheese, empty it onto the pizza. Don’t you remember it’s supposed to be extra deep?
– Throw that work of art in the oven. Doesn’t matter if it’s not done preheating, just eyeball it. You’re smart; you go to college to learn good.
– Anxiously wait for the best thing that you could ever stuff in your mouth. Probably 22 minutes or somethin’.
– When it’s done, GET EXCITED, but don’t forget to grab oven mitts. If you don’t have any, winter gloves are a good substitute.
We all know you won’t be able to wait until it cools to try it so take a bite, inevitably scorching the top of your mouth, but don’t say we didn’t warn ya’. If you’re lactose intolerant, just locate the nearest bathroom.