Entire Fraternity Proud to Have Helped Pay Summit’s Underaged Drinking Fine in One Night
Early last week, Iowa City’s beloved Summit was fined and closed temporarily after it was discovered by the ICPD that the bar was serving minors. Members of Alpha Sigma Sigma were proud to realize that they helped Summit raise the funds after just one night of drinking.
The $500 misdemeanor ticket doesn’t mean that much to a place that gets away with charging a ten dollar cover whenever they feel like it. The Black Sheep caught up with ASS president, Kevin King, to explain his fraternity’s philanthropic endeavors.
“I kind of feel like my people at Summit are part of the brotherhood,” Kevin said. “And not just because a couple of the bouncers actually are in ASS. I mean like in a metaphorical way. They’ve always got my back so now I’ve gotta have theirs.”
All of those wadded up, soggy, sad $1 bills that the frat brothers dig up every Tuesday for dollar drinks have been instrumental in patching the hole in the heart of Iowa City’s tight knit community of binge drinkers.
“Summit puts it all on the line man. It takes serious heart to just say ‘screw it’ and let in high schoolers who stole their parents’ IDs. And so the atmosphere is always just do or die over there. The Jungal is always filled with an Amazon kind of energy. It’s hot and sweaty and a little scary- there’s just no better place to grind to Miley Cyrus remixes and pray that no one spills a vodka cranberry on my Sperrys.”
Kevin’s eyes misted with sentimental tears. The Hawkeye spirit emanated from him like axe body spray.
“Also I’m so thankful that Summit taught me how to correctly spell ‘Jungal,’ because it turns out I was doing it wrong my whole life. Like it just means so much to me, and I know my brothers feel the same. So, we did the math and realized that every time we have a social there a hundred dudes each buy, like, ten drinks. I mean shit, that’s a lot of money when you think about it like that, right?”
“All we need to give Summit $500 is a good party. And every night in Iowa City is the opportunity for a good party. So that’s exactly what we did. The hangover was worth it, just knowing I’d helped a cause that I really care about.”
He closed the interview with a promise to all of the good people who feel as passionate as he does:
“Iowa City PD can always keep trying but they’ll never bring Summit down. And Alpha Sigma Sigma will be right here the whole time. Watching, wishing, waiting, for the next opportunity to drink for a good cause.”
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.