The Official Drunk Review of All Things LSU
LSU is an interesting place. There are people and squirrels and a lot of trees around, and we here at The Black Sheep have done you the grace and honor of getting schloppy and reviewing all things LSU. Please excuse the following schloppiness, parental supervision advised.
Number of Hours Spent Here: You’re old and bald now.
Chances of contracting a deadly disease: We’re not sure. Consult your doctor ‘cause you’re already there with an upper respiratory infection and hemorrhoids.
Number of hookups you’ve had in the grad student cubicles: LOL please.
Degree of burn you got tailgating out here: 7 skin grafts.
Number of times you napped here between classes: Like 2 and 5/8
Rating: Less balls/10
How often teachers update grades: No, they don’t do that ever and kiss your dreams goodbye ‘cause them grades ain’t good anyways.
Number of times it has worked when you wanted it to: Like once in a while every 3 weeks or so it works FUCKING NEVER.
Rating: Like 4 balls/10
Layers of mold underneath the walls: 87%
Amount of hatred you have for the humidity down there: My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.
Number of times you’ve taken the elevator to go down there: Only one student has and they did not live to tell the tale.
Rating: Sweaty balls/10
Chances of boot and rallying before the game even starts: 100%
Number of tit sweat stains you see: Male or female, it’s everybody.
Number of times you nutted to Calling Baton Rouge: Nut nut everybody nut.
Rating: Geaux tiger balls/10
Chances of getting the shits from Panda Express: Buckle up, folks, cause here comes trouble.
Einstein bros: Bagels bagels the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot.
Finding a table: Better luck next time, FUCKERS.
Rating: Dem balls/10