Ways Your Shitfaced Parents Survived Western Homecoming 2017
Homecoming at Western is a weekend that parents look forward to more than any other weekend in their adult lives. It is a time for them to relive their college days and partake in some good old-fashioned boozing. 2017 may have been one of the craziest homecomings yet, and, despite the rain, it resulted in an awesome weekend that you might have trouble piecing together. So just for you, The Black Sheep has a list of the ways that your shitfaced parents survived Western homecoming 2017:
5.) You took them to Fratville:
Maybe your dad was the chapter president of ATO or maybe your mom was a Delta Zeta. Either way, they clearly missed their involvement and seemed to have jumped right back into 1985. Students definitely showed their parents the excitement and high energy levels in their chapter houses, especially since the excessive amount of rain allowed for everyone to party inside those dirty and sticky social rooms we all know and love. After witnessing your dad doing a two-story beer bong or your mom doing a topless keg stand, you probably realized why you’re so wild.
4.) College bar crawls:
This is where your parents spoiled your broke ass and filled you up with food and plenty of drinks. Since homecoming only comes once a year, you made sure you picked the best bar to go to with the parents…all of them! Grotto, Goat, and especially Waldo’s were more packed than ever, but the boozing never once stopped. Seeing your dad flip a shit after hearing that the game was pushed back to Sunday also must’ve been a sight to see! Having the game cancelling while everyone was still hammered created the ultimate atmosphere that all bars love, large groups of drunkenly annoyed adults buying rounds for their kids and getting into a few yelling matches.
3.) You got them soaked at the tailgate:
The rain never stopped a single Bronco this past weekend. The flooding tailgate lots by Waldo only added to the fun, especially when you made your mom go down a slip-n-slide into a pile of PBRs. All the tents and tables of wet food that were set up was still a nice change of pace for you, since you’re probably used to dancing on top of cars and playing beer pong. However, some may have cringed when your dad made a comment saying: “Wow, with all this rain we can sure ‘Row The Boat,’ am I right?”
2.) You attempted to out-drink them:
This one is more personal, yet still quite effective. Since you’ve been away from home for a while, your somewhat strong Bronco tolerance has built up slowly but surely. Therefore, you thought you could’ve easily out-drink them, but to your surprise…they’re bigger fools than you are! They probably went to the Den and picked up a few racks of Keystone and Budweiser just to show you up. You thought you were a king at shotgunning until your dad literally touched the can to his lips and downed it all. These parents certainly kept up and kept going regardless of the fact that the field was underwater.
1.) They bought you a shit ton of food:
Let’s be real: this is everyone’s favorite part of having their shitfaced parents around for the weekend. Everyone’s broke ass was in dire need of food to keep them boozing through the rest of the night before mom and pop showed up. Many were treated with not only burgers from the tailgate, but also campus wok, Crow’s Nest, and if you were lucky, then they took you to some high roller restaurants like Hopcat. It was like an early Thanksgiving for everyone, except even your momma was ham sauced. You easily gained 20 pounds along with a beer gut during the wet weekend that your ass won’t remember anytime soon.
Since the homecoming from hell was still a success, it goes to show you that rain will never ever stop a Bronco from boozing with their parents. The weekend certainly wasn’t any different for the average Bronco in terms of raging, but with the help of your parents it was quite a time to be slightly alive.
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