Top 5 Weirdest, Wildest Drunk Injuries to Get at Pitt

author-pic at University of Pittsburgh  

Drinking can be a bit of a mixed bag. On the one hand, you get to have a lot fun showing off your sick dance moves. But on the other hand, you could trash your body with outlandish drunk injuries that you may not know how you got. Being experts in the science of drunk reporting, The Black Sheep have compiled a list of the weirdest drunk injuries. 

5.) Twisted Ankle from “Wobbling” Too Hard on the Dance Floor:
Could you imagine how embarrassing this is? Just picture yourself in the middle of the dance floor, with the crowd chanting your name, and your favorite song “Wobble” comes on. You KNOW its your time to shine, its your time to show the world all those moves you have been practicing in the mirror. You start wobbling to the beat and as you turn, you trip on yourself, feeling a POP in your ankle. You’re on the ground and everyone is around you making sure you’re okay as you’re gripping your ankle with wobble still playing in the background.

4.) Ruptured Testicle from Sliding Down the Railing Along Pete Steps:
You read that right. Now of course this one hurts a lot because it not only hurts physically, but emotionally as well. Your prized jewels were injured while trying to simply slide down the metal railing to show off to your friends. This has to be one that sticks with you for a while, because it really leaves a mark.

3.) Broken Wrist While Attempting a Drunk Back Flip:
Let’s be real; when we’re drunk, we think we are invincible. We feel like we can do anything in the world, and magically do things that we can’t even do while sober. This one is not too bad because a failed back flip can lead to a lot worse than just a broken wrist; but in reality its all about that final landing, and this one, well, didn’t end so well.

2.) Broken Toenails from Crowded Dancing:
Now this one sucks because its not really your fault. Imagine going to a party and having a good time on the dance floor but some bitch just stomps on and squishes your feet while you’re wearing your special heels! Next thing you know, your toes are bleeding, your toenails and chipped, and you can’t dance for the rest of the nice. Thanks a lot stranger.

1.) Broken Ego From Dance Floor Rejection:
This one has to be, by far, the worst out of all the injuries. This one isn’t physical, but emotional, and hits home, right in the heart. You go to your party that you’ve been dreaming of all weak, and dreamt off all the grinding and dancing you’ve always wanted. However, when you get there, all the girls reject you, and you have nothing to do but stand in the corner and try not to cry. It’s okay though, there’s always next week.

 

How do you feel about the trash dove?