Let’s play a game: how many Irish Catholics can we fit into Alumni? We all know that this is the only game that most people actually care about, and it will definitely bring in the biggest crowds of the season. No one likes Notre Dame. They’re not even in a conference, which makes them even more annoying. They get so much hype but didn’t even make it to a bowl game last year. BC is ready to take down these leprechauns in the holiest way possible. God will definitely be in attendance, and here is why he wants you to be there too.
5.) The Blood of Christ:
Boston College has amped up their game. Not only in football, but in concessions. For all of you devout Catholics out there, don’t worry! Father Leahy consecrate the concession stand wine for you. We’re sure that if you can’t find him personally, there’ll be plenty of priests at the game to help you out. Get your daily communion while simultaneously getting drunk and watching the game.
4.) Holy Day of Obligation:
Honestly, feel free to skip Sunday Mass this week, because this Saturday is the true Lord’s day, and with the high amount of Catholics and Jesuits in attendance, it’s basically like going to mass anyways. This game only happens every other year, so we’re basically obligated to go. Plus, the congregation at Alumni will last longer than a regular mass, and you’ll have too rough of a hangover on Sunday to even think about going. Besides, there might even be a Hail Mary or two in the game.
3.) Promised Land:
Alright, so BC has lost to the Irish in their last five meetings. Notre Dame might be some hot shot team that is ranked in the top 25, but they don’t have the person to lead us to the Promised Land. God has hand picked a new prophet for BC athletics, and has chosen Martin Jarmond. He is basically the next Moses to part the Maroon Sea, and help lead Addazio and the team to defeat the shiny helmets for the first time in almost 10 years.
2.) The next Messiah:
For God so loved BC that he gave us the one and only Harold Landry, that whomever he tackles may not perish but lose on the third down. For real though, some of our only hope in beating the Irish is with the leadership of this guy. God hand picked the next messiah and the disciples to help out our team, but after the loss against Wake Forest we need some more prayers. Maybe more people than just the priests will stay after the first half of the game.
Where is the real holiness in the “holy” war? Most of the student section is full of alcoholics which makes many of the ACC games a lot more bearable. God knows your pain. He fully supports tailgating at Brighton or the mods, and wants to know how you really feel about this game. Feel free to go to confession. Find Father Leahy, and tell him your true thoughts about BC and its athletics. You can totally get reconciled at this game. After all, he is sworn to secrecy!
Whether or not you are an Irish Catholic, you should still go to the game. God’s always watching, but from both sides this time.
Go listen to our GIRLS ONLY podcast!