Welcome to our newest series of articles: BC Daddy of the Week. Don’t be too excited, it probably won’t happen weekly because our staff has a vicious alcohol dependency and like most BC students, exams every other week. Without further adieu here is our Inaugural Daddy of the Week.
Name: William R. Blankenship
Major: Finance/Political Science
Relationship Status: Married for 22 year, 2 of them happily
Fraternity: I wish, it’s a flawed system.
Boxers or Briefs: Boxers
What’s your best dad joke?:
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the giraffe lays down on the floor. The bartender says, “what’s that lyin’ there?” The man says, “that’s not a lion it’s a giraffe.”
What’s the worst injury you’ve ever sustained trimming hedges in your suburban backyard?:
I can’t say I’ve ever injured myself trimming the hedges, because that’s a rookie move. But I have cracked three ribs falling from a damn Chinese made ladder while cleaning the gutters. Bastards can’t make anything of quality.
Where do you stand on disciplining children in public?:
One of my role models is Red Forman, of That 70’s Show. He had no problem with “shoving a foot up your ass” in any situation, public or private.
If you could name a Hurricane after any part of your body, what would it be and why?:
It’d be my right arm, I was a hell of a high school ball player, had a real cannon. Ask anyone.
Where do you hide your edibles from your kids?:
Easy, the three places they know are totally off limits: 1) My office, second drawer on the left, 2) third drawer my American-made Craftsman 42” tool chest 3) My liquor cabinet.
Which is better: Sex? Or a good ol’ charcoal grill?:
Charcoal grill, nothing beats cracking the lid and smelling the smoky scent of grilled meat.
If you had to explain your sex life in only two emojis, which would they be?:
My kids tell me emoji are little sticker things on my phone, they sound communist to me.
You’re on Death Row. What would your last meal be? Ass or box?:
Box, but only if I can have a 6er of Lone Stars along with it.
Why do you think you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
Have you seen me? I’m so much of a father, other fathers come to me for advice.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
It doesn’t seem too communist to me.
If you’d like to be featured as a Daddy of The Week, email us at email@example.com, or slide into our DMs, we’ll do the rest ?
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