Admit it: at some point in your college career, you’ve headed over to a close acquaintances dorm room with the prospect of just “watching a movie” and next thing you know, it’s 8 a.m., you have class in an hour, and your lipstick from last night somehow ended up all over your “friend’s” face. Whoops! We’re not judging. Now it’s time to pull yourself together, get your big girl pants on, and walk that walk! We’ve mapped the best walk of shame routes through BC’s campus to take when a three-hour hangout turns into an overnight stay.
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Route 1 — Mods to Gonzaga:
Shout out to all the freshmen girls out there! If your sleepover with a senior went a little longer than expected, this route is for you. Start out from your Mod of choice and join the other sea of wondering freshmen back to the motherland! You better skip those elevators in Maloney; only the Million Dollar Stairs will do in your quest to get home.
When you pass the quad, you might get lucky and spot a tour group wandering around near Fulton. Strike a pose! All those newbie Eagles are totally gonna be impressed with how messy your hair is. Right before you can finally crash on your twin XL, make sure to stop by Mac and wave to all your friends eating breakfast. Don’t worry; all those snapchats they took of you just means they’re jealous.
Route 2 — Off Campus to Walsh:
Alrighty, sophomores, let’s get you home. Got a cute beau off campus? Take this route as the ultimate repentance! Not only will you pass Greycliff, where dreams go to die, you’ll also pass a place of actual death: the graveyard! Nothing’s more romantic than puking up last night’s alcohol right next to a dead person.
But don’t worry; you can ask for forgiveness at St. Ignatius when you pass by it on your way home. Feel free to grab a confessional booth before your grand entrance back at Walsh, and tell the priest it’s gonna take a while. You’ve got a lot to talk about.
Route 3 — O’Neill to Rubi:
When studying turns into an all-nighter, another form of the “all-nighter” might just take place. Luckily for you, the librarians didn’t catch you and you can sneak on out. When you pass by St. Mary’s, make sure to wave to any ogling Jesuits hanging out their windows; it’s not every day they see someone leaving the library in the early morning looking as frazzled as yo- actually, never mind, that happens all the time. You can also high five any Newton walkers hanging out at the Robsham bus stop; you have a form of solidarity from sleeping with people.
Route 4 — Alumni to Vandy:
Hey, what were you doing on the field last night? Saw a cute football player at the spring game and couldn’t resist? Well, shake that Astroturf out of your hair and walk on home! You’ll pass by the Plex, where current exercisers will know exactly what type of exercise you were getting last night.
Just make sure to not fall into the construction pit on your way back to Vandy (R.I.P Edmonds). Your last stop on this great journey will take you through the Mods, the place where many nights and mornings begin, so if you’re still holding a Natty from last night, pour it out here for all those who came before you (and all those who will definitely come after).
Whether you want everyone to know your last night’s antics, or if you REALLY regret them, your walk of shame will most likely follow one of these routes. Read and weep.
While you’re walk of shaming, you should listen to a podcast! Like this one!