The infamous Boston winters are quickly approaching and we all must begin our preparations for the brisk and frosty -30 degree weather. You can’t just wait around for the 40 feet of snow that will bombard Boston each week come January. To help you stay sane, warm, and not dead, here are the 5 things we all need to do before we enter the arctic tundra we call BU.
5.) Buy a fracket… or 2… or 50:
The illustrious frat jacket is a college staple and with the many MIT, Harvard, and BU frats around Boston, it is important to have this (not-so) warm jacket that (kind of) helps you to brave the cold on a night out. Your fracket will probably get stolen, lost, puked on or eaten by a monkey depending on how hard you go, so make sure to get plenty of back-ups. Taking your nice, warm winter jacket is never the right option, even if it will save you from getting frostbite.
The risk of losing your $8,000 Canada Goose is just a little too high, so instead, spend the same amount of money buying a plethora of jackets all of which you will end up losing in the gross, dirty, hellholes that go by the title of frat houses.
4.) Make friends in Warren, West, and every dorm across campus:
In order to escape the freezing temperatures that will ambush you at all times of day and all over Comm Ave, it is important to make friends with people in every dorm, building, and square foot on campus. Let your new companions know that you’re friendly and cold, and that you are most definitely using them for their heating systems.
Maybe they’ll feel bad for you because of the mile and a half walk back to your dorm and let you crash in their room for a while. If their dorm is closer to your classes, why not just take the opportunity to pack a suitcase or maybe even your whole dorm room and just move in? They’ll probably be okay with it.
3.) Summon the transportation gods to fix the BU bus:
The BU bus is always the biggest struggle on campus. The trusty app may say that the bus will be there in 3 minutes, but we all know that 3 minutes will quickly turn into 3 hours. You can make a difference and be the hero, however. All you need to do is fix the BU bus system.
This is really a simple task that will quickly become a necessity. There are two options: You can sacrifice your firstborn child to the realm of transportation heavens, or you can just buy a bus and drive yourself around campus. Simple as that. You can even pick up a friend or two along the way.
2.) Add all your tuition money for next year to your Charlie Card:
During the frequent snowstorms, the T will be your best friend. The T may be slow and you will probably get frostbite while waiting outside for it, but at least you are a little warmer while on the train itself. It you really need to get toasty, just check out the sauna that is Kenmore.
It doesn’t even matter that you are probably standing outside waiting for the same amount of time as it would have taken to get there in the first place! Using the T frequently means needing to refill your Charlie Card frequently, and sixty thousand dollars is the perfect amount. You will have full access to the T all winter. Doing this every year may mean you have to take out extra student loans or live as a homeless person for a few of your college, but at least you’ll stay warm-ish.
1.) Change schools:
Now that you’re starting to regret going to school in arguably the coldest city on the planet, it is best to start looking at other options. Start looking to transfer. It’s best to look at schools in Florida, California, or Texas, but really anything is better than Boston. Get out while you still can. Maybe you can even escape before finals!
Now that you are aware of what you need to do before Boston turns into an icicle, what are you waiting for? Go and prepare for hibernation! We wish you luck and warm thoughts as we suffer through this frozen wasteland together.
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