Boston University Dining Services prides itself on that fact that BU has “one of the finest dining programs in the country.” It excels in providing a variety of quality, healthy food options and only uses “local ingredients” to minimize our carbon footprint. While these statements look great on the Internet, The Black Sheep couldn’t help but take BU Dining’s words with a grain of salt. You can’t believe everything you see online. Therefore, we decided to visit BU’s dining halls and taste the food for ourselves to see how fine BU dining hall food really is. Boy, were we in for some wonderful surprises.
Disclaimer: this article contains graphic photos of BU’s shitty dining hall food. Read at your own risk. If you end up hurling your lunch of orange chicken from the Panda Express at the GSU, then that’s on you. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you.
Ravioli, ravioli. Please do not give us the formuoli for this mess—unless you enjoy dining on soggy ravioli swimming in a pool of grease, that is. We can only wonder why BU Dining Services thought that serving this disastrous dinner was a good idea. Nice one, BU! We’re already off to a great start.
6.) Gray Chicken!:
‘Tis the season for no seasoning! We can always count on BU to feed us bland, dry-ass rotisserie chicken on the daily. However, it’s a bit concerning that this slice of meat has the consistency of rubber and nearly matches the color of the plate. Combine that gray-looking chicken with a serving of cardboard-flavored rice and you might as well prepare yourself for an upset stomach. So if you’re feeling up to devouring a plate of “chicken and rice,” then consume this meal at your own risk. We hope that you’ve got a toilet and Pepto Bismol nearby.
5.) More Discolored Chicken!:
Here we see history repeating itself with even more bland chicken and rice! Based on this beautiful shot of BU Dining Services’ only exquisite cuisine option, there’s nothing more delicious than some discolored hunks of rock-hard chicken dumped onto a heap of underdone rice. If you’re looking to consume a meal that’s on the dry side, then this dish won’t just meat your expectations, it’ll exceed them. Winner winner chicken dinner.
4.) Food Face-Off:
Sometimes you’ll come face-to-face with your problems when you least expect it—especially when it’s your oven-baked chicken from the dining hall looking up at you. We don’t know why BU Dining Services decided to serve us a slice of roasted chicken sporting a menacing grin. But we do know that it’s time to bus that freakish plate of protein and get TF out of the dining hall ASAP. Save yourself from a stare down with your food and order Domino’s instead.
3.) Shrimp Garnish:
Ever wondered what BU’s groundskeepers do with all of their freshly plucked lawn weeds after an afternoon of landscaping? Serve it to the BU students, of course! As a university that’s heavily invested in sustainability, BU can’t afford to let perfectly good greens go to waste. After all, it’s Sargent Choice, organic, and best of all, vegan-friendly…minus the three buttered-up shrimps on the plate. They’re clearly the garnish to this entree.
2.) Puke Plat:
Mmmmmm, doesn’t this plate of what-the-fuck-is-that just scream explosive diarrhea in a Warren Towers bathroom stall? Yeah, we thought so too. You might’ve thought that rotisserie chicken tasted absolutely dreadful, but this plate of inedible “goodies” is another level of screwing with your digestive tract. No words can even explain why BU Dining Services chose to serve creamy vomit and a charred piece of turd on Visiting Chef Night during April 2017. The only visitor that you’ll expect when shoveling this shit into your mouth is loosened stools and much, much regret at 2a.m. You should’ve ordered Rhett’s when you had the chance.
1.) Yabba Dabba Doo:
@bu_sarnutrition on Instagram took the words right out of our mouths: “What IS that?” Whose idea was it to stick fruity pebbles onto a stack of pancakes? Why was the Frankenstein’s monster of breakfasts served during Visiting Chef Night last month? Sure, it’s better than polishing off a plate of soggy pasta or weeds from the BU lawn. But it’s disappointing to know that our tuition money is going toward flapjacks covered in Yabba Dabba Doo. No wonder why we’re all in debt–someone’s got to sous BU for this.
Based on our findings, we can conclude that BU Dining Services is lying about their food. There’s nothing impressive or fine about eating mushy ravioli wading in a swampy-looking oil bath. You’d also have to be crazy to say that you’d prefer eating pasty protein or even fruity-pebble pancakes over real food. For the amount that you pay to attend and eat at BU, your stomach deserves better!