We Infiltrated the West Dining Hall and Have Some Thoughts
They don’t call Marciano Commons #BaeState for no reason, but sometimes the circumstances demand that one ventures past FitRec to West for sustenance. Of the three dining halls, West comes in a very solid second, which isn’t too shabby considering the competition. In many ways, West dining hall is an enigma that can confuse the lowly East or Central campus passersby. Lucky for you, we infiltrated the dining hall and documented the “highly intellectual” and “scientific thoughts” that occurred within its walls.
7.) Where did all these men come from?:
When you walk in, be prepared to be immediately met with the overwhelming scent of testosterone. If you wander through the dining hall, you’ll have to be careful that you don’t get trampled by a wild pack of many men. Careful! It’s not like the fem Bay State.
6.) You can serve yourself fries??:
Wait… what? We’re not used to portioning French fries. It’s so difficult, kind of a learned skill. Clearly, this dining hall was designed for coordinated student athletes. You might end up with a French fry tower or too few fries on your plate. West puts a lot of faith in its students!
5.) What is this, the Olympics?:
A lithe athlete zips in front of you at the salad bar and you might get knocked down by their rock hard calves. You might return with a couple of bruises after wrestling with a hockey player for control of the Gatorade in the soda machine, and don’t even think about cutting in line after a long lacrosse practice. Careful kids, watch out for BU’s finest athletes as they traipse from station to station to satisfy their high calorie needs.
4.) Uhhhhh, you can’t tap your own ID?:
In terms of ID control, West gives you #no #respect. You might get whiplash from how quickly the worker grabs your ID from you and taps it on the signal pad. Your identity is exposed! Your security is nonexistent! My ID is for my eyes and my finger germs thankyouverymuch.
3.) Sorry… still trying to process the amount of men here. Can’t focus. Too much MAN…:
Wild packs of big boys just walk around and graze here. And everyone keeps eating like it’s nothing. Is there a bodybuilder convention here? Are we being punk’d? Is there some secret little residence hall full of huge men, like a clown car? We would like to follow them out and see where they go after they grace the West dining hall with their presence, but duty calls.
2.) Men. Men. Mans. Gentlemen. Bros. Dudes. Guys. Menbeans. Moonmen.:
Still, like, in SHOCK by the fact that we had no idea there was this super secret dining hall full of fully formed big ol BROs! This is a huge discovery that has enhanced our campus life assessment by 100000%. Maybe West is best after all.
1.) We will be coming to West more often:
For, umm, the fries. Definitely the fires and not the hunks of man meat that meander at all hours of the day. Gotta love the, erm, fries.
While you ogle some man mean, listen to a podcast! Like this one!