6 Things LSUPD is Doing this Summer Instead of Arresting You
The cute, younger brother of East Baton Rouge PD, the LSU Police Department are bored af this summer since there are far less students stumbling onto campus from Tigerland this time of year. Rumor has it, that in an attempt to occupy their time with things other than donuts and arrests, they’re spending their time in ~other ways~.
5.) Making macaroni art to give to their moms:
Making the most of their time off, the officers have decided to give a little something to their moms. Most of the pictures feature their favorite assault rifles, but the most creative picture by far is of Alabama’s mascot being sucked into a toilet… “Around the bowl, down the hole, Roll Tide Roll.”
4.) Finding their long-lost twin and getting their divorced parents back together:
Dressing up as tween Lindsay Lohan and reenacting their favorite scenes from The Parent Trap, our LSUPD officers are able to live out their secret fantasy of being a 13-year-old red head with freckles and a future of chronic drug abuse. Sounds like this is might be more fun than dragging drunk frat pledges away during football games.
3.) F#cking with the LSU Parking Office:
Having to share a building can put strain on a relationship. So, LSUPD has decided to get back at the LSU Parking Office by ticketing all of their cars themselves. To get back at the PD, the Parking Office has decided to tow all of their cars. Sucks to suck.
2.) Tasering each other for fun:
What’s more fun than sitting in the basement of Locket for an hour and a half? Electrocuting your friends for an extended period of time, which is probably what the LSUPD have been doing all summer since you left campus. It’s likely they’ve peed their pants a bunch, but we heard that’s cool, so.
1.) Scaring the hipsters at Highland Coffees:
After getting their morning cup of joe at Highland Coffees, the officers of LSUPD try to scare the hipsters by loudly talking about how their collection of vinyl was just stolen, that they’ve never tried craft beer, or that they’re seriously thinking of switching from glasses to contacts. *gasp*
It seems that the LSUPD does not regret their decision to start fucking around and in fact, have decided to extend their summer activities into the fall semester.
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