Move over Channing Tatum; the time of six pack abs is over and the time of six packs of beer is thriving. We live in a new world where men don’t have to look like they were molded by the gods, but instead, can look like the lumps of clay that the gods tossed to the side while making that other guy. We live in a world where Kevin James can play THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IN A MOVIE! We know you want to learn how to become so sexy that you could play POTUS, so The Black Sheep has compiled these 10 Tips for Achieving a Summer Dad Bod.
10.) Dress for the Dad Bod You Want:
In order to get a dad bod, you must first dress like a dad. You may have to raid your dad’s closet, but it will be worth it to have the perfect summer outfit to accentuate your developing dad bod.
9.) Eat Pizza:
We shouldn’t even have to tell you this one, but pizza should be part of your daily routine. As the saying goes, a pizza a day keeps the six pack away.
8.) Drink Your Calories:
When you’re eating your pizza, you’re going to need a drink, so why not make sure it has a lot of calories to help with your dadification. Whether it’s pop, beer, or McDonald’s sweet tea, if you drink a lot of calories, it will help you get a body like a Belushi.
7.) Do Minimal Exercise:
There’s a fine line between having a dad bod, and looking like Fat Bastard. To keep from crossing that line, you need to do some exercise. You don’t have to wake up early or try to do anything that The Rock might do, just get up and walk around a little. Walk to the fridge and get a beer. That counts!
6.) Take Naps Regularly:
If your bit of exercise tired you out, lie down and take a nap. Achieving such a great dad bod can be tiring, and if you are sleeping, then you won’t be tempted to work out more. So find a comfy spot and take a snooze.
5.) Eat Lots of Candy:
Candy isn’t just for kids; it’s also for parents who have kids. Therefore act like a dad and eat lots of candy, so that your children won’t be tempted to eat it.
4.) Do Your Chores, Like a Dad:
Once you have an established dad bod, you will want to show it off — and what better way than to mow the lawn shirtless! Don’t forget your riding mower; push mowers are for young people that have much more life and vigor in their steps.
3.) Become a Corn Hole Master:
A favorite at grad parties and barbeques, corn hole is one of a dad’s favorite pass times. Not only does it take minimal effort, but you can make so many dad jokes about holes. And it counts as exercise!
2.) Support Your Team, Dad Style:
The summer will eventually come to an end, and when it does, your dad bod will still be around. So show it off while supporting your team! Grab your NCAA licensed Polos and hats and root for your team! And don’t forget to tuck your Polo into your khakis!
1.) Actually Become a Dad!:
While all of these tips will help you achieve the look of a dad bod, the only way for you to get a true dad bod is to become a father. It’s too late for you to get a true dad bod for this summer (unless you adopt) but, if you start trying now, you could have a child by the beginning of next summer, and your quest for a dad bod would finally be complete.
If you found this helpful, tweet a picture of your summer dad bod with the hashtag #BSDadBod15. The Black Sheep will retweet the best dad bods.