To most people, a condom is used to protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Instead of traveling all the way off campus to pick up a pack and avoid embarrassment, Sindecuse has them readily available. We reject the notion that condoms are only for sex, The Black Sheep experimented and came up with six new things to do with the Sindecuse condom variety pack:
The Vegetable Steamer:
The majority of WMU students have no idea what a vegetable is, let alone how to steam it. For the days you want to feel better about all the Hot Slice you ate, use this trick to make a healthy dish. Fill your condom with your favorite veggies and inflate with a small amount of air. After you tie off your condom, throw it into a pot of boiling water and let it sit for 15 minutes or until vegetables are fork-tender.
Filling your condom with water and allowing it to freeze will give you an endless amount of uses and a penis shaped ice cube. Our favorites included the lunch box cooler and the water bottle schlong. For the lunch box cooler, leave the condom and your ice cube and throw it in your lunch box to keep your food chilled. But if your remove the condom from the ice cube, you now have a penis-shaped block of ice that easily fits into any water bottle.
What normal college student has the cash for those fancy Tempur-Pedic pillows? Make your own adjustable pillow from a condom and go buy yourself some Hopslam with your extra cash. We used the Trogan Magnum from our Sindecuse variety pack, and doing so allows for a larger neck pillow, but the condom size varies depending on the size of your head (the one on your shoulders). Start by filling your condom with air, and then tie it off after you’ve reached your preferred pillow size. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy your homemade pillow.
Tip: Use a paper towel to remove any lube to avoid lube in your hair.
The Plastic Bag:
Seriously, stop wasting your time searching for a matching lid to your Tupperware and start storing your food in condoms. A condom is the perfect vessel to store your fruit, lunch meat, even those steamed veggies you made earlier. All this requires is a helping hand that is willing to hold your condom open while you stuff it with as much crap as you can.
Yeah, we know by the end of the week your dishes are piled higher than Mt. Everest. When you’re just too lazy to clean a cup, instead, fill a condom with your beverage of choice, cut a small hole at the tip, and you have yourself a fancy glass.
Side note: This was actually awful, please don’t do this.
The Throwback Thursday:
Remember those glitter tube toys from the 90s? Well you can recreate your very own with just a condom, glitter, food coloring and water. Fill your condom with the ingredients listed, tie it off, and you now have something that will remind you of your childhood, but only slightly more slippery.
Although we could come up with a thousand more uses for the Sindecuse variety pack, we won’t, because using a condom for anything but sex is pretty disgusting.
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