Being a student that truly embodies the Rutgers spirit means you’re willing to break your ass by jumping into a pile of leaves in order to make it onto the Rutgers Snapchat story. Since originality is dead, here are ideas that will that guarantee you Snapchat stardom:
Whether it’s horses, dogs, pigs, or your thigh in the middle of No-Shave November—people love animals and will squeal at anything cute and furry like they’ve never seen it before. The piglets on the Douglas/Cook Farm and the Seeing Eye puppies are irresistible because unlike students, these animals are innocent, adorable, and worry-free. And ever since Marley & Me traumatized everyone back in 2008, your animal story will definitely pull at the heartstrings of the people working behind RU Snap.
College is all about being able to express yourself without judgment so unveil your true colors by puking rainbows and dancing like no one’s watching! Throw on a onesie or a latex bodysuit and show off what you learned in your Byrne seminar! Don’t be shy, just be confident and pretend you’re the black swan before she went batshit crazy! You can do it! Who cares if you’re not in Mason Gross and can’t plié? Thousands of students will watch you twerk like a dying fish, but that’s okay because you got on the RU Snap story! Keep calm and dance on!
Making Fun of Failure:
To cope with our own failures, we take joy in laughing at other people’s pain. Rutgers Snapchat will gladly add your video of you and your floormates sobbing over a biology midterm because that’s what pleases the student body. The education system has trained us to be highly competitive and a tad bit sadistic, which is why we shamefully take pleasure in knowing that someone else is failing. A 10-second snippet of temporary misery will motivate at least 20 students to do better than their failed peers, which explains why Rutgers New Brunswick is the #2 university in New Jersey (#1 being Princeton, where Snapchat was invented, so they couldn’t give less of a shit about anyone else’s grades).
Rutgers is overflowing with diversity and it’s vital that everyone knows through Snapchat. Posting a video of Bhangra dancing or a Greek food festival and captioning it “Tuesday Night Turn Up” will definitely land you 10 seconds of fame. Rutgers’ love of diversity is that of the white couple down the street who recently purchased matching kimonos and adopted two babies from Ghana. They’ll do just about anything to show how culturally educated and diverse they are, even if it means getting tattoos of Chinese characters that translate into “chicken noodle soup” and “dumb American.” RU wants to demonstrate how mixed we are so embrace your swift hip movements and Snapchat at Bachata Club!
If these ideas don’t get you on the RU Snap story, then default to snapping yourself commenting on real issues like how great fall is or the new red Starbucks cups. If that doesn’t work, then perhaps you’re too good for the campus story. Try aiming for the big screen, like Vine or Instagram Video. Just don’t worry too much kid; you’ll make it big somewhere.