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Quiz: Which Horrible UMN Pun Are You?

Do puns make you smile or your eyes nearly roll out of your head? Either way, it can be agreed upon that puns truly are the unsung, notorious heroes of the modern world. Plus, puns were outlawed in China, so you might as well use the rights that ‘Murica has provided for you. Take the below quiz to discover which UMN themed pun is your personality!


1.) What is your signature party drink?

A.) Beer or wine– something that will let you have fun but still remember the night the next morning.

B.) Long Island Iced Tea

C.) Tequila shots

D.) Whatever drinks are lying around and abandoned at the party.


2.) What is your go-to restaurant on campus?

A.) Annie’s Parlor

B.) Loring Pasta Bar

C.) Kitty Cat Klub

D.) Hard Times Cafe


3.) Which color are you most like?

A.) Brown—the gross colors that you get when you accidently mix all the colors together.

B.) Black—the color of the secretive and aloof.

C.) Gold—the color of achievement and triumph.

D.) Red—the color of passion, energy, and sex.


4.) What are you most likely to be binge watching on Netflix?

A.) Girls Gone Wild

B.) Adam Sandler Movies

C.) Parks and Recreation

D.) Gossip Girl


5.) Pick a Shakespeare quote:

A.) “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

B.) “Love me or hate me, both are in my favor.”

C.) “To do a great right, do a little wrong.”

D.) “To be or not to be.” (This is probably the only Shakespeare quote you know)


6.) Why might you be single?

A.) I can only rely on myself.

B.) I have bigger plans.

C.) I repulse people. They run away from me screaming.

D.) I don’t want to be tied to one person right now.


Now calculate your results using the answer key below:


1) a-1, b-3, c-2, d-4

2) a-1,b-2, c-3, d-4

3) a-4, b-2, c-1, d-3

4) a-3, b-4, c-1, d-2

5) a-1, b-2, c-3, d-4

6) a-2, b-1, c-4, d-3


6-12: Gopher it!

You’re a go-getter and a work-harder. You like to have fun, but always have your long-term goals looming in the back of your head. You get a sick satisfaction whenever people call you “Type A.” You’re a great friend, but you also piss off your buddies when you look at them with a parent-worthy “that is not a smart decision” glare for going out on a “school night.”


12-18 points: University of Minne-Snow-ta

Most likely a Scorpio or a Gemini, you are one cold-hearted biz-natch. You walk to the beat of your own drum and could write “backstabbing” on the list of skills in your resume. You have probably been called “Ice Queen,” ”Two faced,” “Barbie,” or a variety of four-letter words behind your back (or to your face). Your dedication to gossip and general shit-talking would even impress writers at the National Enquirer.


18-20 points: “Turn-up”-itorial Hall

You’re the life of the party, even if the only thing you remember about the night was putting on lipstick. You’re always down to dance and you could even make listening to Phillip Glass music interesting. Despite the fact that much of your homework is completed in the haze of a hangover every Sunday afternoon, you are still able to pass enough classes in order to stay in school and keep the party bus rolling!


20-24 points: Cough-man Memorial Union

Congratulations, you are a trash person! You have either hit rock bottom or don’t even know what a rock is. Either way, you live your life the best you can and just keep trucking. There is also a chance you might be a raccoon.


Have a great day, you mother pun-ckers!

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