Current trends of consuming alcohol have shown that many college-aged students have taken to consuming alcohol via their rectum. Many students have put their life in risk by engaging in this dangerous activity all in the goal of getting drunk fast. Unfortunately, students have begun applying this method to other “drugs”, and a new, rectum-oriented smoking/drinking method has risen: butt-vaping.
To butt-vape, all that is required is a vaping device and a butthole. To properly engage in this activity, students lie down on a flat surface and may or may not require assistance to properly stick the vaping device into their rectum. Once the device has been properly secured, instead of blowing smoke out of the ass, smoke flows through the body and smoke out the mouth as if you had been vaping orally. This provides a euphoric experience that very few people have been able to experience.
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Because this form of vaping is relatively new, it was rather hard to find a student that had engaged in this anal-vaping technique. Luckily, we found a longboarder familiar with the technique who was able to guide us to all the other vapers on campus.
“Brah, it’s like an experience you’ve never had before. It’s simply amazing, bruh,” proudly remarked freshman Robert Robertson.
Robert has been vaping and longboarding for ages and has just recently started this new technique of anal-vaping. He says it totally isn’t gay though so, ladies, he is still available.
“I personally prefer the ‘big-Jim’ vaping device because when it’s properly secured in your butt, you can, like, ride around on your board while vaping without worrying about carrying it around. Its effects mimic that of weed when transmitted rectally so it is pretty much a legal alternative to pot, which is pretty dope bruh,” said Robert. “My ass is sore after a while, though, so I don’t recommend having the butt plug vaping thing in for more than a couple hours.
Worried medical officials have caught drift of this current trend and have publicly announced the dangers that taking part in such activities may present to the public health.
“Not only does this vaping technique still give off all the chemicals that it normally does when used orally, it also destroys your asshole, medically speaking of course,” claims Anal and Rectal specialist, Bootay Ahnal. “Medical officials highly recommend against using vaping devices in the first place, let alone sticking up your bahookie!”
This, like any other trend, will slowly dissipate and become unpopular as a new trend gives rise to a new way to transmit that “high” that those crazy kids are seeking. The Black Sheep, among others, hopes that the next trend will be a bit less disgusting to write about.