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The Top 10 Ways to Procrastinate at Miami

 

It’s the week before finals, deadlines are looming and you’ve done jack shit. Procrastination is an artform, and you’ve spent the entire semester creating your Mona Lisa—one Buzzfeed article and cat video after another. The Black Sheep has created a list of 10 things to finish your masterpiece like a true Redhawk. Stick it to the man; if you haven’t done anything “productive” all semester—why start now?

 

10.) EAT:
Miami University has 19 dining locations. Try hitting up all of them in one day. You clearly need brain food to get your work done (Read: fuel your next Buzzfeed Binge).

 

9.) Count the khaki pants:
This is an easy one and should only take about twenty minutes (Unless you’re in North Quad, then plan for 30).

 

8.) Head to Armstrong or King Café, look for kids who are clearly procrastinating too, and high five each and every one of them: 
Extra points if you deadlock stare at them and say “ONE OF US.”

 

7.) Also high five all the employees who look like they clearly love their job:
Why should you write that lab report when there are dozens of kind people looking for recognition in their work environment!?

 

6.) Play private eye:
Sit at a crowded round table at King Café; give everyone at the table an up down and search for clues to their identity. Facebook stalk and friend request them. Then, back away slowly and book before they know what hit them.

 

5.) Sit in every chair in the study area, in every study area on campus:
When you find the one that perfectly suits your fancy, decorate it and make it your throne.

 

4.) Watch the “Procrastination” episode of Spongebob and then reenact it out loud:
Attract an audience, bring out the method actor/actress in you and paint yourself yellow like the porous procrastinator himself.

 

3.) Judge a book by its cover:
Re-arrange books in King according by the beauty of the cover. If they’re too plain, draw on them and make ‘em pretty.

 

2.) Drink:
If the clock is beat or even broken… your deadlines don’t exist anymore… right?

 

1.) Share this article with everyone you know… 😉
Because there’s nothing better than dragging everyone else down into the bottomless pit of procrastination with you.

 

Momma always told you to do what makes you happy. If those papers and exams bring nothing but dread and misery—then screw ‘em! After all, grades may not get you a job after graduation—but recommending a good cat video to a potential employer may be your golden ticket to success. So, for the sake of your career goals and happiness: get procrastinating!

 

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