The one social network where you can say whatever you want without being judged (well… at least not by people you know) because of one great invention—anonymity! You can finally say whatever your little heart desires (or in most cases at UMD, what your dick desires). Yay for being able to show your weird sexual side in confidence! Here at The Black Sheep, we thought we’d show just how far UMD students take this anonymous power… which is usually worlds past normalcy, but quite entertaining at the same time.
We’ve gathered a few REAL yaks from this past week for solely your enjoyment:
Let it never be said that UMD students are short on originality.
Please refrain from any contact with the college students; they may be hangry and nonfunctioning from a severe lack of energy. This one specifically will growl at you and jump on your head from the ceiling of its cage. Though treats are accepted, proceed with extreme caution.
Here is a good example of why UMD is known for its innovative thinking, although there is also a fine line between innovation and questionable actions. See Pink Boot for more information.
Drastic measures must be taken when alcohol is involved.
Tbh we all cherish each other’s honesty so much at UMD that we encourage public declarations of love for fries and administer group hugs daily. It’s pretty heartfelt here, ngl.
Dominance must be accomplished in creative ways on such a large campus. Do not be surprised if you see a male student marking his territory on Testudo.
As you can see, the Wi-Fi at UMD is just absolutely superb. Saying that the connection is as sound as our banks accounts is just so untrue—we stick the Wi-Fi up our butts simply to convey our love.
Salmon shorts are an unfortunate side effect of the frat boy epidemic. That is not an unknown fact at UMD. You’re either on right side or the dark side (or would it be the bright pink, intoxicated side?)
Everyone thinks Maryland is known its delicious crabs. But that’s just what Maryalnders tell people to cover up the actuality of immense crab gangs roaming the streets with joints in their claws every night at 10p.m. Obviously, the crabs didn’t choose the thug life—the thug life chose them.
Chipotle is a cruel tease. It pulls you in with is beautiful smells and then breaks your heart and steals $1.95 out of your pocket. Joke’s on them though! College students never have any money, and when we do, you best believe that we’re going to show it off by buying that extra guacamole! That guy definitely got laid.
Yik Yak is a real treasure on college campuses. It provides the weather, gives you an idea of what not to wear unless you want to be yakked about, and contributes endless humorous commentary. It is also a great way to organize study groups and make new friends, so be sure to reserve a tree with this guy: