Ah, UW-Madison Snapchats. A place where drunk college students/aspiring porn stars/people seemingly unaware that marijuana is still illegal in Wisconsin can have their moment to shine—sometimes unintentionally. It’s a place where anonymity and a lack of David Hookstead (sorry dude—UW-Madison Snapchats is everything your stupid little confessions page WISHES it could be) allow for hilarity. Though many have made us chuckle, have second-hand embarrassment, and let out an audible “AWWWW,” a few have stood out from the rest — here are the Top Ten UW-Snaps, so far.
10.) The “no need to apologize, little doggy.” You are so much better than a nude—JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE!
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9.) The one who finally gets the concept of going green. Why didn’t someone say this earlier? It would have made this anonymous snapper care that our ozone looks like Swiss cheese long before now.
8.) The slave to the to-do list. Among the many strategies to stay on schedule, a to-do list has proven to be one of the most effective. This especially holds true if this list includes “self-discovery time” followed by any movie with Molly Ringwald—might we suggest The Breakfast Club after your next appearance on UW-Madison Snapchats?
7.) The film connoisseur. What is more refined than being able to include references to fine arts and culture into your everyday life? Not much. And what is more artistic than the movie Zoolander? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Bravo, guy, you did the right thing.
6.) The celebrity impersonator. Lorde looks different in literally every picture—to the point where it’s hard to tell what her face actually looks like. So who are we to say that this guy doesn’t resemble her perfectly?
5.) The “I’ve made a huge mistake.” Halloweekend is a rough time for many. But for this guy especially. RIP, random guy’s beard, you will be missed.
4.) The one that makes you feel better about your life and your choices. Sure you didn’t study as much as you should have for your last midterm. Of course you contemplate if you were drunk for the entirety of your last failed relationship. But you, my friend, have never broken a full bottle of top-shelf vodka. Perspective — it does wonders.
3.) The one who finally figured out how to use those ridiculously small desk drawers.Looks like these bad boys serve a bigger purpose in the life of a ~freshman PaRtY AmImAl!~ than simply hiding weed and accompanying paraphernalia.
2.) The guy who is having the best day ever. You’ve never seen pure joy before this face. And plus, those cats appear to be really fat, so props for being able to handle both of them all while taking a sophisticated mirror selfie. Also, where do you live that the bathrooms are that nice and cats are allowed? The people want to know.
1.) The bros who decided to make a living classic. Were they down there all along and somehow this happened? Or did they lie down for the sole purpose of capturing this Snapchat? We don’t even care. We’re just happy it happened.
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