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What Trabant Employees’ Neck Tattoos Say About Them

When a Trabant employee wishes you a good day, you can see in their beautiful shimmering eyes that they are sincere. It’s unlikely that there is anyone on the planet who wants you to have a good day more than the Trabant employees.


While they are a unique and diverse bunch, there is one characteristic — along with incredible charm — that most employees share: neck tats. Here we analyze what the neck tattoo says about them.


Picture of something that has to do with the outdoors: These neck tats include flowers, clouds, the sun, or anything that can be found outside of where people live or work or do anything where they aren’t outside. Trabant employees with this type of tattoo are adventurous, fun-loving, and handy. They not only can they ring up your Chick-fil-A waffle fries, but can also pitch a tent and negotiate with a bear that might have stolen your picnic basket. The beauty of these inspiring tattoos are outdone only by the physical and emotional beauty of the Trabant employee, their obsidian locks sparkling in Trabant’s neon light or their strong bodies laying in a field of flowers, reading Wordsworth aloud to you as the sun sets. 


Name of past lover: These Trabant employees had a blank space, baby, (on their neck) and they wrote their name — the name of a previous lover, that is. A name inked onto the delicate neck skin of the Trabant employee tells a tale of a love long past, exposing deep devotion and yet deeper pain. Feeling the nasty sting of a broken heart, they nevertheless manage to still smile through it all to provide you with cheerful and efficient service. “Thank you,” you say as they cash you out, feebly attempting to convey gratitude for your food but also for their wonderful, tenderly Sufjanesque existence. Romeo and Juliet can take a note or two from the romantic souls of these employees.


Song lyrics or music notes: These neck tats are usually found parallel with the ear. This makes sense, as ears are what allow people to hear music. Song lyrics neck tats reveal the employee’s taste in musical genres and the essential brightness of their souls. It isn’t difficult to imagine yourself, vulnerable and sad after some sort of personal tragedy, turning to a Trabant employee with a song lyric tattoo for guidance. They whisper sage sounds into your ears and suddenly all is healed, like Jesus stroking Lazarus’ brow.


This is amplified further in the music note neck tat, indicating that they not only hear but create music, like small Titans crafting a musical world with their arms. It is more than likely that the next great composer of our time can be found in Trabant, toiling away towards impeccable service while symphonies come to life in their beautiful minds.


Miscellaneous Words: This category encompasses many a neck tat. These words can be anything from “hope” to “danger.” They can also be compiled together to form a sentence or phrase. An example might be something like, “live fast die young.” These types of tattoos expose a degree of importance that the employee has placed in the word, imbuing it with the radiance of a thousand suns. “Hope” for example might mean that the Trabant worker is optimistic about their aspirations for the future.


Truly, there’s much to learn from these delightful working delights. And, while neck tats may just be the key to a much deeper truth, to begin there opens doors for you, dear reader, of adventures to come.

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