A Quick Summer Workout Plan for Cornellians Chasing the TCAT Bus  

author-pic at Cornell  

 

Summer break is an amazing time when college students can be the people they truly want to be—potato chip eating champions, and someone who binge-watches Food Network for twelve hours straight. However, there are consequences to lounging around like a koala bear, and if you aren’t about to risk missing the bus next semester because you aren’t ready to run fast, then here’s how to train like a pro this summer.

5.) Prep your mind by studying Usain Bolt’s 2012 record winning 100-meter dash:

The first half of the battle is being mentally prepared, so by watching an Olympic champion like your buddy Usain you’ll for sure know how to chase that damn bus like it’s a gold medal. Bolt put in all possible effort to cross the finish line first and you’ll have to keep up the same intensity to make it through the closing TCAT door.

4.) Begin your warm ups by walking around the neighborhood screaming, “Wait, I’m gonna be late for my twelve o’clock in Morrison!”:

Not only will you need to get the muscles in your legs ready, but you’ll need to warm up your vocal chords to be in prime yelling condition. When running after the bus, sometimes your physical strength just won’t be enough and you’ll have to resort to desperate cries to get fellow Cornellians to help you out and slowly step onto the TCAT.  

3.) Chase various moving objects:  

The brunt of the workout is where you can really get creative. When practicing the fine art of “I didn’t check the time and now I really need to make it on that bus or else I’ll have to walk,” you’ll want to seriously practice chasing things. This can be anything that passes by at a speed to which you think you may make it, but will probably end up missing it by a few seconds. The more realistic, the better. Focus on things that may increase in speed as you chase them, such as loose dogs running from their owners, that cutie you saw in the parking lot, or children on bikes.  

2.) Cool down with a social media break:

When you’re finished exerting cardiovascular activity immediately ignore all advice about standing up to catch your breath by lying down to check your Snapchats. While your friends send you numerous snaps of them performing research or contributing to the Cornell community, snap back a sweaty selfie to show them that you are being just as productive with your goal of never missing a blasted bus ever again.

1.) Hike the nearest mountains to get acclimated to running on Cornell’s campus:

Running fast to the bus is not nearly as important as not passing out as you run to the bus. This isn’t a flat-campus casual trot to the bus, this is cross country, and being able to run twenty feet on Cornell’s campus should honestly replace the swim test. The best practice would be the nearest, roughest terrain because if you collapse from lack breath or stumble over the numerous hazards, you aren’t going to make it on that bus.

With this undeniably solid workout plan you will be able to run two minutes late for each TCAT but will not suffer the cost of having to walk to class. Those days of making eye contact with the driver as he/she closes the door seconds before your failure of a body reaches the vehicle are over!

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