5 UGA Conversation Starters To Avoid Small Talk About SGA Election
Amidst all of the SGA opinions, you don’t want anyone to realize that you don’t care quite enough to commit to a sticker on your shirt or a conversation in Tate. So when someone looks like they might be about to maybe start a conversation about the election, here are a couple of conversation starters you can use in anticipation to harshly avoid the subject altogether:
5.) “Whoa! Look at that Cute Guide Dog Puppy!”:
There are so many of these guys roaming around campus, just napping in their owner’s arms because they can’t navigate stairs. Using this diversional technique will do you good when someone’s mouth looks like it might be about to form the word “Vote”. And even if there’s not a puppy in the vicinity, saying that there is will give you enough time to run away while a certain SGA Rep still has their head turned the other way,
4.) *Trip Down the Stairs*:
Trust us when we say nothing works better to get someone off topic than a tumble down the Tate Plaza staircase. It doesn’t have to look real, especially because the person you’re talking to doesn’t care about you, he or she just cares about you wearing his or her sticker and acting as a human billboard. The more painful it looks, the better chance you have of getting out of an even more painful conversation.
3.) “Have You Heard About that Thing Jere Morehead Said?”:
Because there isn’t a single chance that anyone on campus has read this week’s edition of the “Archnews” email, it’s the perfect piece of irrelevant news that you can say to someone before they even say a word to you. So, when you see someone that could potentially tell you to vote, pull out the email and recite the wise words of Jere Morehead: the only president in the history of ever that no one voted for.
2.) “Is that A 25% Off Sale Sign At The Bookstore?!”:
The UGA bookstore can, in this situation only, serve a great purpose in a situation like this. Because it’s strategically placed right smack in the middle of Tate, you can swerve so hard into its overpriced, unhelpful rescue when you’ve been let down by Rising Up before (shout out to tha Falcons) and Igniting things just sound dangerous. And if you play your cards right, you don’t even have to go inside the doors, you can just investigate that it is, in fact, a 25% off sale sign at the bookstore.
1.) Say You “Have A Date With Fate”, And By Fate You Mean Ms. Hilda From Bolton:
If you say these exact words, the SGA rep will most likely think you’re making a joke about going to eat at Bolton. But in reality, go through with this one and intend to take Ms. Hilda out of her chair at the Bolton register and out to dinner. Not only will you get out of talking to anyone about any campus politics, you will also have a hot date with an elderly, adorable, Southern woman. Hey y’all.
We hope that in these, you’ve found some solace from your political social anxieties. Stay strong, normal Dawgs, after this week you won’t hear a peep out of SGA people until next year.
WATCH: Boofing is ruining your butthole: