5 Lawrence Townies You Know VERY Well
The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the townies are finally free from the oppression of obnoxious college students for a good three months. We would like to celebrate the very special townies that make this cesspool of a town what it is.
5.) Vince Vandime:
Drink of choice: PBR
Bar of choice: Replay
Strengths: Has an American Spirit willing and able to bum at all times, is able to get away with wearing a thrasher tee despite never being seen on a skateboard.
Weaknesses: Finding a stable band to be in for more than three weeks, and anyone wearing a Sublime shirt.
Where you can find him: Replay by night, Bourgeois Pig by day.
4.) Laura Phillips:
Drink of choice: Trashcan
Strengths: Can rope anyone into a conversation about her cat tattoo, can recite “Slim Shady” from memory
Weaknesses: Any song by Adele, and the sight of an animal paw stretched in front of her face.
Where you can find her: Screaming her lungs out at Jazzhause between trashcans, and yelling at the song choice for her group despite what Sharon thinks of her.
3.) Chad Uppercrust the 3rd:
Drink of Choice: “Moose Bowl, my dude.”
Bar of Choice: The entirety of the triangle.
Strengths: Can tell you about the exotic traveling he does all the time despite always being found at Schooner night.
Weaknesses: Salmon colored shorts, and the crushing inevitability of colligate life being over.
Where can you find them: Hitting on girls in the line at The Hawk.
2.) Officer Williams:
Drink of choice: Protein powder
Catchphrase: “Stop in the name of love.”
Bar of Choice: Whatever one doesn’t have a fight break out so anywhere but Tonic.
Strengths: Gettin’ them gains, tweeting while driving, AND working out while driving.
Weaknesses: Leg day.
Where you can find him: @LawrenceKSPD
1.) Hemp Guy:
Bar of choice: John Brown Underground
Strengths: Getting the community to ban together for the greater good for a greater high.
Weaknesses: Lack of car honks and shoes that don’t expose his bare toes. Also, Officer Williams.
Where to find him: Where ever the wind blows, man.
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