5 Things KU Should Actually Be Spending Our Tuition Money On
KU students are paying $20,000+ a year in tuition, and it’s all seemingly going to construction. While some of the construction happening on campus is necessary, some of it is just wasting our money (like the current remodeling of the Union so it includes a juice bar or something). KU may think they know what’s best, but The Black Sheep knows better, so here are some suggestions for what our tuition money should actually be going to.
5.) A Ski Lift:
Think about it. We could have one of the only ski lifts in Kansas, and we’d be saving all the shirts we’ve been ruining with sweat stains by walking up the hill. Plus if you were to accidentally fall off and break a bone or two, maybe you would get your tuition paid. You might as well take a chance, right?
4.) Fake IDs for All Incoming Students:
KU can help us save time by cutting out the middle man and giving us our fake IDs directly through the college, instead of having us browse through sketchy foreign sites. They could even have an underground deal with the Hawk and promote doing shots while we work on our schooling. What’s not to love about that idea? You know, besides the fact that we’re a dry campus and it would promote underage drinking.
3.) Paying Off the KU Football Refs:
KU could easily use some of our tuition money to pay off refs officiating KU football games. Imagine Big Jay slipping a ref a $100 bill, and suddenly our football team is best in the nation. This would not only help out KU by generating more revenue from another successful sports team, but KU students would finally be able to brag about something other than basketball for once.
2.) 3-Ply Toilet Paper:
Each student is spending $20,000+ a year, and we’re still stuck with shitty 1-ply toilet paper. Seriously, it feels like we’re wiping our ass with a gust of wind with the toilet paper we have now. KU students deserve toilet paper as strong as our basketball team.
1.) A Taco Bell in the Underground:
Okay, to be fair, this one still requires more construction. However, a Taco Bell would be a great addition to the Underground. You’d be able to eat your weight in clumsily made Crunchwraps between classes, plus you would have a new excuse for missing your next class. You know, because you’re shitting your guts out.
While the suggestions above would be a great addition to campus, we’ll still be getting screwed in terms of tuition no matter what. Rock Chalk, everyone.
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.