4 Reasons President Cheng Didn’t Give Us Presidents’ Day Off

author-pic at Northern Arizona  

Rita, you need a break. Deciding which days should be classified as snow days on NAU cannot be an easy job. So why not close the university on Presidents’ Day to give your colleagues, students, and yourself a time to reflect on all the good times NAU has had since you became president? Nonetheless, The Black Sheep has four highly impractical theories that explain why we must go to class on Presidents’ Day.

4.) Cheng Has Beef with Trump:

Cheng was promoting sustainable architecture projects on campus that are less harmful to the environment than a drunk college student pissing on a bush. Trump is angry that he lost his toupee due to one of the windmills on campus fired back with a good old classic tweet. 

3.) Trump Isn’t Our President, So Why Celebrate?:

It doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out that NAU is one the top ranked liberal campuses in the United States. On Trump’s inauguration day, you might have noticed it was a foggy out. However, this haziness was due to a different type of natural element that gets smoked. That’s right, we’re talking about pot. Since Trump has become president, NAU students seem to be on a long-term high. Why celebrate if half the campus is still in denial?

2.) Rita’s Bonus Stated She Must Work:

Rita Cheng is looking at a six-figure bonus if goals are met in 2017. The goals the regents had in mind for Rita included, turning 70% of campus into construction, raising tuition, and making everyone come to school on Presidents’ Day. For a six-figure bonus who wouldn’t come to work on Presidents’ Day?

1.) You’re Far Behind:

NAU’s spring semester just started five weeks ago, and let’s face it you already want to jump off of a bridge after seeing your grades. Procrastination has gotten the best of you, and having a Monday off would’ve just motivated you to party on Sunday. It’s probably for the best to just go to school on Presidents’ Day.

Whether you like it or not, NAU has class today but we have a hunch Rita Cheng is going to be calling in sick today!

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