NYU Student Dates Columbia Student; Hell Breaks Loose
Steinhardt freshman Wendy Kim is forging the biggest divide present at NYU: she is dating someone from Columbia. Kim had an inspiring, Sinatra-infused, message to send to NYU students.
“Love transcends all barriers—that’s the message I have to carry,” Kim sang to our reporter. “If our love can make it here, then it surely can make it anywhere.”
The relationship has stirred controversy and debate near-and-far. Some students are keen on defending this blossoming love. CAS sophomore Angela Hamilton began weeping tears of joy upon hearing the news.
“It is just so beautiful! Love is love is love is love,” Hamilton sobbed. “We are a community who supports everyone, including the Lions uptown.”
Others at the Washington Square campus were less open to the idea. An anonymous member of the NYU College Republicans had this to say:
“We can’t let these Uptowners come and take our people! This is OUR campus; OUR city. In fact, I say we need to learn from those pesky Lions—they have a wall. Why doesn’t NYU have one yet? SAD!”
This polarization among the NYU population has not occurred at the Columbia campus, which we managed to sneak a reporter onto.
“I mean, it’s not that big of a deal,” laughed Kim’s boyfriend, Reginald Rich. “After Wendy told me she went to NYU, I was like ‘oh, okay. cool.’”
Other Lions had little to remark about this great extension of an olive branch.
“Wait, where is NYU again?” asked one Columbia junior. We here at The Black Sheep are pleased to report that he was (most likely) being sarcastic.
Tandon students were the last to hear this news. Representatives for the Brooklyn campus requested that we advertise them as available substitutes for “Ivy League boys.”
WATCH: This is the most garbage of memes, hate it before it happens,