5 Lies Prospective Cowboys Are Told During Greek Discovery Day
Greek Discovery is tomorrow, meaning a swarm of high school Greeks-to-be will be flooding campus, searching for their dream house. What “Potential New Members” don’t know, is that 90% of what Actives tell them about OSU Greek life is a total f*cking lie. The Black Sheep took the liberty of creating a list of the top 5 lies you probably heard, and will, in turn, deceive the new talent with, on Greek Discovery Day.
5.) “Academics are of the utmost importance.”:
To which you’ll later reply, “Really? Is that why my big has a 0.3 GPA, and half of my pledge class is on academic probation?” Without a doubt, you’ll be assured “it’s not the grades you make, but the hands you shake,” but when your resume’s strongest qualification is your 375 Challenge record-time, it’s safe to say Boone won’t be extending any job offers.
4.) “All the different houses are like one big family.”:
To say houses get along with one another pretty well is an accurate statement, so long as “pretty well” is how you’d describe relations between Palestine and Israel. Here’s a tip, IFC: If you’re promoting “one-ness” among the Greek community, maybe everything Greeks participate in (Homecoming, Freshman Follies, and Chi-O Wish Week, to name a few,) shouldn’t pit each house against each other like The Hunger Games.
3.) “We’re a drug-free fraternity.”:
“C’mon, smokin’ the reefer isn’t doing drugs…” fair enough. But, the mountain of blow you took to the dome in South Padre certainly qualifies. In one of the houses that drug tests? You’d best believe people are getting trippy, dabbling in the ‘delics.
2.) “Fraternities and sororities have so much sober recreational fun together.”:
“Sober” being the key word here, Coke dates to The Barn and pomping are probably the only times you’ll ever hang with another house sober…if you don’t count rollover-buzzes from drunken recreational fun had the night before.
1.) “We’re a non-hazing fraternity.”:
Fast forward to fall when your door’s being kicked in, on any given Thursday, once The Strip’s closed up shop. Grace Week may’ve had you second guessing your fraternal intuition, but the Pledge Calisthenics, or rather, “routine fitness checks,” are making a strong case against the “no hazing” policy.
It’s a shame that rushees are in for such a rude awakening this coming Fall with the whole “bait and switch” routine, but you’ve gotta get a new cleaning crew for the house somehow, right?
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