BREAKING: A.M. Discussion Attendance Rates Drop as Spring #pledgingszn Commences

author-pic at UC Berkeley  

In a trend visible throughout campus, it has become visibly apparent that spring #pledgingszn has commenced.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” professed GSI who admitted to not having any idea what was going on.  “All the kids who have pins on their shirts in lecture just never seem to make it to Friday morning 8a.m. discussion section.”

Across campus, many fraternal organizations confirmed that #pledgingszn had indeed begun.

“Yeah, it’s spring pledging time,” confirmed Sigma Nu brother Evan Desert upon realizing that it was, in fact, spring pledging time. “Our brotherhood can neither confirm nor deny having pledges at all, but if we were to have some, they sure as hell wouldn’t be attending their 8a.m.’s.”

One spring pledge admitted to his utter failure to rally his way to any classes at all.

“Honestly, it’s just so hard to make it to R1A,” professed a perpetually non-punctual pledge.  “I’m always so drunk and tired overwhelmed from the safe and tranquil pledging activities that it’s hard to make it to morning classes.”

However, GSIs have noted an honest effort from these students to compensate for missed class time.

“I’m amazed at how dedicated these students are,” remarked a Math 16A GSI. “They always come to my Friday 2p.m. discussion instead, and they all show up wearing little matching uniforms with cool buttons on them. How charming!”

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