Catalina Freshman Brings Literally All Belongings Back From Break to Protest Tiny Ass Rooms

author-pic at UC Santa Barbara  

As the season begins for raiding parents’ houses after winter break, one UCSB freshman reportedly brought too much to school with him. Word has spread that a mechanical bull, fifty pounds of pre-popped popcorn, a new desk chair, and an inflatable tub were among the items that the freshman, Chip Bono, tried to fit in his tiny ass Catalina dorm.

The man living with Chip has made numerous comments challenging his idea. “I just don’t see why anyone in Santa Barbara needs three winter coats,” reported Chip’s roommate, Chad. “And our rooms are just too small to fit them.” Chad claims that he has repeatedly asked Chip to take the larger items home, but Chip resides in Boston, so he will not be traveling home again until the end of spring quarter.

The fact that Chip lives so far from campus raises many questions about how he transported all of his belongings here to Santa Barbara. When asked about the subject, Chip replies “it was important to me, so I just did it. I don’t see why I should be in such a small dorm. I mean, I am a freshman, but I’m basically a sophomore, you know?” It seems that by bringing a large amount of his possessions to school, Chip is not protesting the size of all of the dorm rooms, but merely the size of his. It has been reported that Chip told his fellow first years that he alone deserves a larger room, since he “feels like a sophomore” and “already knows his way around.”

Many have pointed out that the other residence halls are no larger than the one he lives in, along with the fact that he could have chosen to live in almost any dorm and did not. “I clearly wasn’t as “Adult” when I made that decision, and should have been given a big room to begin with.”

Other first year students have gotten gotten behind Chip, saying that they, too feel they deserve to be living in the “cooler sophomore dorms” since they are in their second quarter of school, “which is, like, a ton of college experience.” When word spread, groups began forming in front of Storke Tower in support of Chip’s freshman movement.

One of these groups, a new club called Chip for Change, is suggesting that Chip’s actions show that “first year is the best year” and that all freshman deserve the nicest dorms. One member, James, commented on the recent campus changes: “This guy Chip is a legend, how did he think of it? Freshman have suffered for far too long and clearly have it the hardest of anyone. The transition from high school to college is hard enough, but then on top of it we have to take, like, twelve units per quarter! I’ve never seen a guy on campus make such a stand. I really admire him.”

Chip has become a symbol for hope amongst students. He continues to blow minds on a daily basis and wants readers to know that he will continue to be the inspiring person that he has recently become. When asked if he will be changing residences in fall quarter, he reported that he “hopes the change will come soon, but if not [he] will be moving to an apartment in IV, where sophomores are on top.”