Find Out What Greg Gard, Nigel Hayes, And Ethan Happ Have To Say

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“You can’t deny that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a great movie. It really showed us that Carrey has multiple layers to his acting chops. The Number 23 was one of my second favorites. I was gonna try to get my number changed to 23 after I saw it, but then I thought it would be offensive to Jim. I didn’t want to trigger him like that, so I settled with one number less so it’s more of a ‘close but no cigar’ type of situation. Maybe someday Jim will come smoke a cigar with me. Or answer my letters…was he really in that rhino’s butt? I won’t believe any answer unless it comes from him. You know, my dad’s name is Jim actually, he left us when I was nine.”

Ethan Happ on Jim Carrey’s acting career

Wall-E was just the beginning. The Rainforest Cafe?! Animatronic gorillas? You guys are SLEEPING. WAKE UP! Before we know it we’ll be humans in the cogs of the machines in the world of machines in cogs. You don’t know what I’ve seen. The others can be bribed with hoverboards but my soul can’t be as easily bought. Ever wonder why those things started blowin’ up??? Ya bois started talkin‘–they started askin’ questions. And you best believe those bots don’t like any questioning. Can’t compute that shit, they’re not there yet. But they’re watching everything, OH THEY’RE WATCHING ALRIGHT. Jumbotron! Don’t look at the jumbotron! Don’t say I tried to warn you.”

Nigel Hayes on his fear of robots taking over the world

“I’ve always seen myself as more of a spicy kind of guy if you know what I’m sayin’. So, I wasn’t really surprised when I heard the rumors. I’m not saying that I started the dad bod, but I do think whoever did definitely had some photos of me pinned on their inspo board. It’s just inescapable though, I feel the envy in my players eyes when they know it’ll be 9-12 months before they can ever call themselves DILFS, I don’t even remember how I used to live like that. How does anyone? Being just a person someone wants to fuck? A PILF? Nigel Hayes thinks he’s some kind of fucking PILF? Gross, that’s disgusting. Anyways, while it may be true I wasn’t born a DILF, I’m sure as shit going to die a DILF. 

Greg Gard, on rumors he’s Wisconsin’s hottest DILF

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