KAM'S Sludge Monster Sickened by Shmurda

 

“When I was going into the basement to grab more handles, I heard this wretched voice gasp ‘No more Bobby Shmurda,’” Leszczynski stated. 

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How To Dress For Ebola Season

 

Everybody has been informed through nationwide panic that Ebola has spread to about two whole people in the United States. While this may induce a government-issued state of emergency, don’t fret because we have all the steps to help you dress for success when it comes to avoiding this plague.

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Oregon Street Trail: An Exciting New Game from Black Sheep Software

 

Welcome to the Oregon Street Trail! An educational, MS-DOS-based simulation game that teaches college students about the realities of making the walk of shame from Bumfuck Urbana all the way back to your mediocre apartment in Champaign.

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UIUC Senior STILL Hasn't Seen Pulp Fiction

 

“I had no idea he was a Pulp Fiction virgin. I just assumed that everybody who didn’t lose their Pulp Fiction virginity in high school would lose it sometime in college, unless they were a total pleb.”

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Self-Conscious Professor Worried His Students are Looking at Him

 

Professor Jenkins, who teaches Sociology 100, reportedly leaned in to a student in the front row and asked, “Is there something on my face?”

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Booze Review: Brooklyn Lager

 

Ey there, boyo! Greetin’s from Brooklyn, ya Midwestern chumps! While we admittedly have no idea how to write in a Brooklyn accent, this native lager only makes us want to try until we get it right.

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