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Campus Life
5 Post-ACL Drinking Games that Are More Fun than the Festival Was
Even for people who didn’t go to ACL, that Monday post-festival is a cultural come-down for...
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Satire
I-35 Wagon Pileup Delays Sooners Fans for Red River Showdown
DURANT, OK–Following a horrific wreck on the Texas-Oklahoma border, officials have had to shut down the...
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Campus Life
Study Finds Only 1 in 5 ACL Attendees Go for the Music
For the first time since the festival’s creation in 2002, Austin City Limits decided to team...
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Campus Life
UT Midterm Results Lead Students to Consider Transferring to A&M
Following an incredibly stressful and tear-inducing week of exams, many Longhorns are now being reduced to...
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Campus Life
5 Dumb Phrases You Only Hear from Longhorns at ACL
UT is the best university you’ll find in the South, but let’s face it, ACL brings...
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Campus Life
COLA Career Fair Features Single Unemployment Benefits Table
In order to accommodate its graduating students, UT College of Liberal Arts surprised many by only...
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Campus Life
Freshman Crushed Upon Realizing UT Offers No Degree in Memes
Local UT freshman, overwhelmed by the decision of picking a life path, thought he finally found his...
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Campus Life
Engineering Students Take a Knee at UT Tower to Protest Midterms
Thousands of engineering students gathered around the famed UT Tower last Saturday night in solidarity to...
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Campus Life
UT Construction Site Revealed to Be Secret Club for Professors
Late last night, UT junior Amanda Wu was walking home from the PCL only to hear...
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Campus Life
UT Writing Center Actually Helps Student with Essay
This week, UT sophomore Carol Logan stunned both her professor and classmates when she showed up...
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Can We All Just Agree That Plan II Majors Are the Worst Majors At UT?
UT is famous for the “I’m better than you” attitude of its students. It’s basically a...
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UT Austin Colleges Renamed to Fit What They Actually Are
UT is known for all the majors it offers, there’s something for everyone, but the school...
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The Different Types of Snakes in McCombs
McCombs students are often labelled as the most malicious and shady of all UT students, thus...
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5 UT Classes to Register for if you Need to Boost Your GPA
It’s time to register for the spring semester, yet it can be hard to know exactly...
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A Judgmental Map of UT Austin
Maneuvering around the Forty Acres and the surrounding Austin areas can be difficult for anyone who...
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5 Things To Do when Your Fake ID Gets Denied on Sixth Street
We’ve all been there. You go out when you’re under 21 with the intent to drunk af...
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BREAKING: UT Vs. A&M Rivalry To Be Renewed In 2023 As Long As A&M Visitors Park Their Tractors Off Campus
In a truly momentous email to students and faculty, UT President Greg Fenves announced this week...
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Pike Pours Cocaine on Fenves’ Driveway in Attempt to Cancel Class Again
AUSTIN–In a desperate, last-minute plot to get classes canceled again, sources report that members of UT’s...
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Top 10 Captions for Your Back to School UT Tower Insta
People post pictures at the UT Tower way more at the beginning of the semester. So...
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Texas Rowing Team Sues Texas Rho For Copyright Infringement
AUSTIN, TX–Reports surfaced the past couple of days that Texas Rho, formally known as SAE, is...