You’re finally out of mom and dad’s place and those repressed sexual needs that would have to wait until they went to sleep or your girlfriend or boyfriend’s parents were out of town are finally free to be explored. Except, now you have loud roommates who don’t clean, or who scream at their Xbox at the top of their lungs, or you share a room with someone… not exactly the best environment for setting the mood. So, now you’re on campus and the thirst is real. Where do you go?
7.) The John C. “Hitt It” Library:
Channel your inner Ludacris by doing it in the library on top of books, but don’t be too loud. Find a spot, usually first floor, late at night by the microfiche. If you’re in real need check the online room reservations and find out which ones are empty. Reserve it, and enjoy your sexual escapade!
6.) The sexy, sexy dorm rooms:
From Towers to Hercules, a bed is a bed, and a closed door with a sock on it (is that still a thing?) is universal code for getting some. Run on over in-between classes to relieve some stress, and revive your interest in that 1:00 p.m. lecture.
5.) Happy trail:
The trail behind Towers 1 and 2 is perfect for a romantic stroll down a consented pair of pants. Other than a few wandering stoners and some wildlife, it’s usually empty. So find a secluded spot and get in touch with your wild side.
4.) Just like The Notebook, but disgusting:
A little lake-side romance never hurt anyone. Hit up Lake Claire if you’re not totally into outdoor sex and opt out for their restrooms. Still slightly outdoors, but clean enough to not gross out your partner. Both are left open most of the day and evening, and they are hardly occupied.
3.) Yeah, that’s The Spot:
The breezeway bathroom by CFE bank and The Spot. They are hardly used since it’s relatively hidden, its air conditioned AND there are virtually no cracks in the stall to peek through. And when you’re done you only need to walk a few feet and boom. Post-coitus Chick-fil-A.
2.) Get the D in Garage D:
Car sex amirite? Avoid fornication during peak parking hours. Aim for parking on the second or third floor. The top floor is a no go, and the first floor can be pulled off, but the super adventurous can go for a ramp spot, best by a pillar so one side is blocked from view and the other side can only be peaked into when driving up.
1.) Get dirty:
The Citrus Hall Laundry room. No cameras, no keys needed to get in, and plenty of folding tables to bend your partner in tons of fun positions. Great for random Tuesday night laundry sessions. You can get some cleaning done while doing the dirty!
Don’t forget to dress your Knight in shining armor! UCF gives out TONS of free condoms, so pulling out and praying won’t be necessary. Here’s a handy 😉 dandy map to find the loot.