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Andersonville Man Dealing With Fucking Bug That Just Came Outta Nowhere

Andersonville — Mark Widman was seen dealing with a fucking crawly-ass bug that just, swear to God, showed up outta nowhere–like how the fuck did it get in–on Monday evening. 

“HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, HO–,” Widman was heard screaming throughout his building. “SHIT, SHIT, HEY LIN? GET THE WINTER BOOT OUT OF MY CLOSET, THIS THING IS FUCKING HUGE, HOLY SHIT.” 

The bugs, known as the “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT KIND OF BUG IT IS, IT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING,” have been coming out in full force throughout Chicago garden units for the past month and are expected to ravage people’s apartment until next January. 

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