So, you’re a Loyola-Chicago Ramblers bandwagon fan. No problem! You’ve now joined the ranks of Mr. T…
Go Loyola go, I am proud of you! I’ve been watching you play from my comfortable couch. It’s been a long time since you were in the tournament. Good luck guys and keep up the great work. Remember to give it all you got and leave it all on the court! #MarchMadness #LoyolaRamblers
— Mr. T (@MrT) March 18, 2018
…but, unlike Mr. T, you’re in Chicago and don’t want to sit on your couch watching Loyola play for a National Championship bid. You can almost hear Sister Jean praying you’ll go cheer on the Ramblers, and we’ve got you covered: the five best bars near Loyola to pretend like you’ve been a fan this whole time.
5.) Bar 63 (formerly Hamilton’s):
The scene at Bar 63 at Loyola. pic.twitter.com/S5Ee5O8vS5
— jon greenberg (@jon_greenberg) March 15, 2018
That video? That’s from round one when Loyola upset Miami. Round one. The stakes are much higher on Saturday, so get your prayers in early, save confession until next week, and make sure to get in line for a seat. There’s mixed reviews of the bar on the review overlord, Yelp, but we’re sold after reading the review from a bargoer of a server: “He was busy flirting with some ladies a few chairs over. I’m not hating. Do your thing. But do your thing while also refilling my glass … I’m definitely an alcoholic when enabled.” Hey, so are we!
The dive bar right across the street from campus, Bruno’s is nothing special: It’s a gritty dive bar, not a bar going for the dive bar-feel. We’ve read it has the your-grandpa-grew-up-in-a-different-era-and-is-kinda-racist vibes (“If you’re an old, white, crotchety, racist, lowbrow goon, you will LOVE this place” wrote one reviewer), and that it’s filthy and cheap as hell. You lost us at racist, and somewhat got us back at cheap—go here for a bit, but don’t try and stay the whole game.
FINAL FOUR y’aaaaalllll pic.twitter.com/cLLZQUPAkE
— Irelands Pub 10 (@IrelandsPub10) March 25, 2018
This is Loyola’s bar, literally, and when we say literally, we’re using it correctly. Tucked in the basement of Loyola’s Damen Student Center, this bar has no windows, a perfect environment for drinking until the sun goes down, which is totally subjective now that you can’t see it. Students run the place, so we’re hoping that if things go a bit, say, Cinderella, there might some free drinks. Wishful thinking.
2.) Bulldog Ale House:
This is a chain, much like the world-famous Applebee’s (home of the $1 margaritas), but we’ll give Bulldog’s some pros over the others on the list:
- You’ll most likely not encounter any outward signs of racism here.
- They have beer other than Old Style or Schlitz (not knocking others that do, personal preference here).
- Bathroom stalls will have fully-functioning locking doors.
- Their Saturday martini game is fucking strong, if you’re like James Bond.
1.) Oasis (The O):
Topping off our list of divey bars you’ll find yourself out of place is Oasis, or The O, which is a hop, skip and a stumble from Loyola’s campus. Bartenders are supposed to be nice, regulars make it a one-way ticket to a cheap drunkenness, and it will most likely carry that wet-and-sticky floor vibe you crave from a dive.
Also, this ain’t bad on Saturdays:
- $3.50 tall boys of Old Style, Labatt Blue, Miller Light, Bud Light, Becks, Baveria, Hollandia
- $3.25 shots of The Big “O”, Washington Apple and Buttery Nipple;
- $5 bombs ($6 car bombs if you’re not sick of all the one’s you had on St. Patty’s Day).
If you’re not a real fan after going to one of these places, you’re probably not a real fan. Sorry, but we know you’re a bandwagon fan or else you would’ve known about all of these places.
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