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Local Cub Fan Still Determined to Get Very Drunk on a Monday Afternoon

Chicago — After the Cubs announced the postponement of its game against the Cardinals, local Cub fan Bill Garbolski told reporters that he is still determined to get “very drunk” on a Monday afternoon.

“Listen, the Cubs don’t play today, that’s fine,” Garbolski said while smoking a cigarette outside Murphy’s Bleachers. “I can’t control the weather—Tom Skilling sure as hell can’t control the damn weather—but I requested Monday off six months ago, and I’m drinking like we just had eight runs in the 8th, Rizzo’s off the DL, and Lester just threw a perfect game with goddamn snowballs.” 

Garbolski said that he was with his son-in-law at The Cubby Bear around noon when they found out the Cubs wouldn’t be playing, and proceeded to start “getting piss-drunk off Buds until my wife picks us up from work on her way back to Algonquin around 6.” 

At press time, the two had been to The Cubby Bear, Rizzo’s, Bernie’s, Yak-Zies, back to The Cubby Bear, Sports Corner and Murphy’s, and were planning on “hitting all the bases again” before then went home for the day. 

“We’ve been seeing ’em all day,” said a bartender at Murphy’s, who asked not to be named for fear of being asked for free drinks. “Snow, no snow, game, no game—it’ll be like this all season.” 

 

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