Connect with us
Connect with us

Chicago

The Loop: Some Dude Threatened to Throw His Pee at Everyone?

Listen, things on the CTA this week got a little weird. But then again, someone’s always pooping in the corner or kicking a kid somewhere in Chicago. That being said, The Black Sheep would like to present to you a round up of the best things the Blue, Red, Brown, and Green lines had the pleasure of witnessing this week. Here’s what we learned from Twitter:

That eating on the ground is uhh, something people WANT to do:

Dude, you have to know deep down somewhere in your hungry heart that someone pooped in that spot, that very same spot where you naively placed your Happy Meal. Enjoy your poopy Big Mac, I guess? 

That we’re not the only ones drinking on a Wednesday night:

Somewhere out there between Linden and Howard on Thursday morning there was a drunk conductor operating the Purple Line. We can’t necessarily condone this, but we do silently salute you in your efforts.

There are plenty of smells to go around:

Robin, we don’t know how to tell you this but usually when people smell like meats it’s because they’re sweaty. But hey, whatever you’re into.

That there are more smells than we initially wanted:

Hey uh, John. Knowingly releasing a fart on a very crowded train car is perhaps one of the meanest crimes anyone can commit. Please do not brag about this on Twitter, just keep this one between you and Jim in the cubicle next to you who also still thinks farts are funny.

That the spirit of Vine lives on in Chicago:

Well, if you’re going to keep the Brown Line from slowly making its way downtown, then you better be sure you’re making an entrance everyone can enjoy. We applaud you Chili’s man (?), and we’re really hoping we catch you for an encore performance.

That everybody loves a good ol’ fashion staring contest:

Oh my god Jay, it’s bad enough you caught the poor in an act as embarrassing as vaping. The least you can do is the let the man breathe and disappear into a dusty vapor cloud of shame and sadness. We do admire your commitment to hot and heavy eye contact, though. 

And that not all heroes wear capes:

Thank you @Chicago_Scanner for helping all of us avoid another jug of urine to the face. You’re the hero we need, but not the one that we deserve.

Check back next to see who got bed bugs, and who had the pleasure of accidentally sitting in a puddle of piss on the Red Line.

Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame:

Continue Reading

More from Chicago

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top