Top 10 Tailgate Recipes that Shoehorn Football into Every Meal

author-pic at Clemson University  

Do you love football? Do you love eating? Have you ever tried eating a football? Why not take your tailgating preparations in the most literal direction possible and have a go at these 10 football-obsessed recipes? We’ve even ordered them from least to most demanding for your convenience.

10.) Football-Shaped Lunchables: fooshape10Bring some school-cafeteria-flavored nostalgia to your next tailgate with these non-trademarked “football bites.” No one has to know you let a cookie cutter do most of the work.

9.) Football-Shaped Cookies and Cream Cheese Ball

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You know what would go great with your high calorie beer, burger, and potato chip combo? A giant ball of melted cream cheese, butter, and candy that’s what. Mmmm, diabetus.

8.) Football-Shaped Deviled Eggs

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So maybe these eggs look more like an inmate’s manic tallying of how many days he’s been incarcerated than actual footballs. That’s okay. If you truly believe in the spirit of football, anything can become football-shaped if you stare at it long enough.

7.) Football-Shaped Philly Cheese Quesadillas

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Basically just make a regular quesadilla and hack it with a pizza cutter until starts to look like a football. Good luck trying to get the cheese goo to stay in a lace pattern during transport.

6.) Football-Shaped Meatloaf

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“This Football Meatloaf Recipe creates a fun and delicious meal wrapped into one.” If by “fun” you mean making what appears to be a dirty meat bowl bubbling over with bloody tampon soup, then yes, we would call it that.

5.) Football-Shaped Loaded Potato Dip

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“Win the super bowl party” with a baby seal’s weight in chopped bacon, sharp cheddar, and sour cream nestled in a bed of green onions. You’ll need triple layer potato chips to fork lift this stuff.

4.) Football-Shaped Chocolate Dipped Strawberries

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Trick other tailgate goers into eating something with marginal nutritional value by painting berries with chocolate. Feel free to cackle from afar as they realize all too late that they’ve willingly eaten a serving of fruit in public.

3.) Football-Shaped Pizza Cake

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Increase your efficiency by eating the equivalent of four pizzas at once. Heck, this thing could probably suffice as an actual football if you wanted to play a quick game of catch before consuming it.

2.) Hyper-Realistic Football Cake

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There’s something weirdly unsettling about how truly leathery the texture of this cake’s icing looks. Combine this with the cockroach pupa-looking candy spilling out and this cake is practically nightmare fuel.

1.) The Almighty Valley of Sandwiches

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Once created, the Almighty Valley of Sandwiches cannot be moved unless airlifted from the kitchen. You must feed it other sandwiches regularly—lest you invoke its terrible wrath—and pray in the meantime that it does not break your only dining table in two.