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5 Ways Clemson Gameday Will Change if Booze Comes to Death Valley

Clemson University is no stranger to tailgating and having a good time. The downtown scene most definitely has its own character and never fails to get you LIT. But, up until now, the university has been very against selling alcohol at its sporting events (besides the President’s box and other VIP people who think they deserve a beer more than the OF AGE students). What made the university change their mind and how will this change the environment of sporting events at Clemson in the future?

5.) MONEY MONEY MONEY:
Why the sudden change of heart? Clemson had to have just realized they were missing out on a huge paycheck by not selling alcohol at these events. With the football team doing as well as it has been the past couple years, and the potential that our team has in the future, no doubt people will be pouring into town. And, with football comes tailgating and booze. The Athletic Director of Clemson, Dan Radakovich, says that the sales could definitely boost the town of Clemson financially – just proving our point once more that Clemson is a money sucking fiend most of the time.

4.) More students at sporting events OTHER than football:
We know, we know… it is shocking that Clemson has OTHER sports other than football! But, it is true. Our basketball teams, track team, soccer teams, and baseball team are all pretty decent. And, what sport isn’t better with a little bit of beer! Saturday doesn’t have to be the only day for the boys — everyday that you celebrate Clemson athletics should be for the boys!

3.) Less Tailgating drama on Saturdays:
If we have more sporting events that we can drink at freely, maybe we won’t feel the need to get so drunk at tailgates on Saturdays. Let’s be honest, there is always that one family that shows up 30 minutes before the game starts, trying to park their car in the tailgating lot, forcing everyone who bothered to show up hours earlier to get hyped about the game to move their tents and pong tables so that fucker can park. We hate you, and think you should spend your alumni money at other sporting events.

2.) Increase trashiness of the town of Clemson:
If you are apart of a service group that helps clean up the stadium after the football games, you know that it is an absolute freaking mess. The Hill is covered in empty mini bottles and smashed beer cans that students somehow managed to sneak into the games. If other sporting events allow alcohol sales that equals an increase in drunk assholes that are going to flip trashes and puke behind Johnstone.

1.) Students will be broker than ever:
Although double fisting at the next basketball game with a couple Bud Lights would be the highlight of every Clemson student’s week, inevitably, those beers and whatnot will cost an arm and a leg. So, if you are someone who has more than $8 in your debit account you might be joining the club. 

So all in all, booze at the sporting events is a GREAT idea and should start this next Fall 2018, for the beginning of Sunshine’s QB role. All in every day baby! Go tigers!

 

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