What Your Clemson Darty Outfit Says About You
Spring is coming and with it is darty season! Darties are 100% something every college student needs to experience at least once throughout their invincible years, and Clemson is Darty Capital of the World. Unlike being cooped up in dark bars, darties take place under the hot Clemson sun where everyone and their individual styles can see and be seen. Thus, at every darty you’re going to see a variety of outfits and, this is what the outfit you chose to wear says about you:
Jerseys are always for the bros. If you’re sportin’ a sports jersey at the darty you’re probably also out back shot gunning Busch lattes and smashing the cans against your head like a true frat star. Deshaun jersey-wearers are true ballers, baseball jerseys are second best, and if you’re wearing a Space Jam jersey, sorry bro, you’re basic af.
Orange Formal Dress:
If you wore a formal gown to a darty… bless your heart. You should have known better than to wear your god-awful high school prom dress when all your friends had on their booty shorts and cowgirl boots! You must be a naïve freshman, but lesson learned: wear shitty clothes that you aren’t afraid to get puke on?
Purple Romper and Pumps:
You bring the sass and class to the darty. You can curl your hair into the perfect beach waves and rock a pair of aviators like no other! You also probably slapped the bag of Franzia too hard and ended up tripping over something and scratched up your legs really good. Everyone has #dartyscars, wear them proudly!
Clemson Sweatshirt and Tights:
More than likely, you were one of those people who reluctantly got coerced to leave your house and “drink your hangover away.” You put this outfit together last minute and had to run out the door because the driver was ready to go. Your main priority at the darty is to get super drunk and make it home later where you can get back to your original plans of laying in the dark and ordering all of the wings from Wingin’ It.
Orange PFG with Khakis:
PFGs are basic af. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, or whatever, it’s basic. Your PFG could have either have your monogram or just a simple Clemson tiger paw and it’s still basic. Throw in some Sperry’s and you might collapse into a black hole because the universe can’t withstand such levels of basicness.
You give the least amount of f**** compared to anyone else attending the darty. You put that onesie on with pride and confidence, and get drunk before you can regret your choice in fashion or makeout. You were that person who was challenged to do a keg stand, rocked it, dry humped the air three times and went back for round two. You are the Clemson Darty Champion.
It doesn’t matter if you wore the most basic outfit or the onesie — if you showed up to have a good time then that’s what counts! We’re not judging you for wearing any of these outfits, because on the bright side, at least you chose that over your birthday suit.