Being surrounded by drunk, sweaty freshmen trying to take the perfect photo for Instagram in hopes of getting over 100 likes week after week can get a little daunting. Throw in a devastating loss to a inferior orange team that shall not be named, and maybe you start to feel like you just need to take a step back, breathe deep, and escape the madness. If you think you may fit into that category of students, this is for you. Here are some places you can go to spice up your gameless gameday this weekend.
5.) Moe Joe Coffee:
If you want to get homework done and take your mind off football, stop by Moe Joe Coffee. They have pumpkin muffins, so you can get a taste of Clemson sports by eating orange food because, you know, orange. It’s sports things, right guys? Cool. Plus, the other people there are in the same boat as you. However, when you enter the café, you’ll instantly feel the dread of fellow students collectively just sitting there groaning as they try to avoid seeing K Boogie’s name in the trending tags.
4.) Your house:
You may be introverted, but you still have an imagination. Use it to turn your house into your very own paradise! Lock your doors. Grab your laptop. Turn on an ASMR video while you write an article for The Black Sheep. Remember that you have multiple exams next week and have a panic attack so that you’re tired enough to nap for 6 hours. Wake up and tweet about your nap. See Dabo Swinney’s name in the trending tags. Be sad because you just ruined your attempt at not hearing about the game.
3.) The mountains:
No cell service. No Twitter access. Just you and the fresh air that smells like Clemson but sounds like an outdoor meditation class. Spend the day hiking and carving your Instagram username into the trees so that people can go to your page and see that your dream job is completely different from your Clemson major. Then go back to your cabin or hotel and turn on the TV to rest your sore muscles. Except the channel is on ESPN and you see that Clemson is los—dammit.
2.) South Carolina Botanical Gardens:
Want to make yourself seem edgy? Head over to the Botanical Gardens and just take a walk. Pop in your headphones and listen to the music that makes people say, “Aren’t you a little young to know who Paul Simon is?” You could even mouth along to the words of the song, just so your fellow garden-goers know that you’re deep in thought and don’t want to be bothered, but still have an ability to care about things. But you totally forgot that your mom downloaded “Tiger Rag” to her phone so she could use it as her ringtone and it went into your library through iCloud. You’ve failed once again.
1.) A literal hole:
Do you have a shovel? Congratulations! That’s all you need to get to this place. You know how you’ve been trying to bury that small amount of memories from that one Clemson game you went to that they ended up losing? Well, consider yourself one of those memories, dig a hole, and jump in it! That’s all there is to it. It could be the only way of escaping the intense school spirit that comes back to haunt you after a gd loss to SYRA- no, you know what. Just breathe.
If you’d rather be surrounded by screaming humans every minute of your life than be alone, you probably watched Billy Mays commercials like they were Saturday morning cartoons when you were younger, and should therefore head to whatever nearest college is playing football this weekend. USC?
Our podcast is a pretty good escape too!