Kenya Crooks Instantly Becomes Clemson’s Most Accomplished Alumni
There are many Clemson students and athletes who have somehow made their way into stardom or success, but after Mama June’s recent transformation, none — including your sorry ass — will ever come as close as former Clemson University receiver and current celebrity weight-loss trainer Kenya Crooks. Kenya has officially surpassed the likes of such has-been Clemson alumni like Pulitzer Prize winner Harry Ashmore and Strom Thurmond, sitting US Senator by conquering the unconquerable and whipping America’s cherished Mama June into shape. He will soon be taking the role of trainer on her new TV show, Mama June: From Not to Hot.
Until Kenya came around, Mama June was a smidge on the heavier side, always indulging in those delicious southern delicacies like “sketti” (spaghetti noodles topped with butter and ketchup then microwaved) and Mountain Dew.
This is where our beloved Clemson man comes into play.
Kenya dabbled in semi-pro football for a while before finding his calling as a weight loss specialist. He met a crossroads about what to do after college. After realizing he had a knack for weight-loss training and after he became better and better, made his move to working with Atlanta celebrities.
Soon enough, he fell into the lap of Mama June. Like Neil Armstrong or Lebron James, Kenya shielded all those who said it couldn’t be done and embarked on a journey once-deemed impossible. By getting Mama June to start running, and with the help of surgery, stop eating multiple Little Debbie Cakes and opting for… healthier options, Kenya Crooks has helped Mama June transform from a whopping 460+ lbs to… a size 4 — a size not easily maintained by even the most Fike-obsessed srat girls.
It is apparent that almost everyone that comes from Clemson is bound to do great things in this world (well, maybe not everyone: Chad Kelly). Kenya Crooks is just a dope representation of this, and we’re rooting for him! Now, when you’re done with Mama June, come back to Clemson and help us learn how to work out and not order Wingin’ It at 3 a.m., so that they don’t look clueless and puke on the treadmills in Fike anymore.
Listen to our podcast!