Columbia senior Brent Warden dropped earth-shattering news this past weekend when he proclaimed to his friends that he thinks this is the year he will do something only a select few have done before him: start a podcast.
“I feel I have a really unique perspective that deserves a podcast,” said Warden, a 21-year-old white male. “My life experiences are truly one of a kind and I need an outlet to share them with the world.”
Warden said that because he has been listening to podcasts for about six months now, he understands what goes into making a podcast “good.” Brent remains under the assumption that producing podcasts is “easy” and that he’ll gain traction in virtually no time.
“I mean, I have a laptop and a SoundCloud account,” Warden said. “What more do I need?”
On the other hand, Warden’s friends don’t necessarily agree that his point of view is “unique.”
“Brent is a cool guy, sure, but not cool enough to be worthy of a podcast,” said Warden’s roommate, Shawn Davies. “I don’t think he realizes there are a million other white dudes out there doing the exact same thing he’s trying to do.”
Warden defended himself by saying that his podcast “won’t be like other podcasts” in that only half of it will be devoted to conspiracy theories. The other portion will reportedly consist of Brent reviewing the Lord of the Rings trilogy, regurgitating political commentary he saw on Twitter, and complaining about being stuck in the friend zone.
If there’s time left over near the end of the two hour podcast, he’ll “just talk.”
“I figured, you know, I’m interesting enough that people would want to hear the observations I collect week to week,” Warden said. “Yeah. That should tie off the end of each episode well.”
He also hopes to eventually incorporate a guest segment on the podcast which will consist entirely of his equally-boring friends.
Additionally, Warden’s friends mentioned that it isn’t out of the ordinary for Warden to come up with ideas like this every month or so.
“Last year, Brent wanted to start one of those prank video YouTube channels,” said Warden’s friend, Liam Panovits. “He gave up pretty quickly once he found out that grabbing a woman’s ass on the street isn’t a prank and it’s actually assault.”
“Yeah, or like that one time he thought he was gonna become a DJ just because he downloaded Audacity,” commented Warden’s other friend, Rick Hanson.
Despite the disapproval from most of his friends, some think what he’s doing is admirable.
“Most people start podcasting once they’ve reached their thirties and realize their life is going virtually nowhere,” said Warden’s friend, Jamie Reed. “Personally, I think it’s cool that Brent, as a young college student, has decided to give up now.”
Hey, now. Our podcast is actually good.