Connect with us
Connect with us

Cornell

5 Cornellians You Should Start Dating Now Because They’ll Be Rich One Day

If you’ve spent the last few weeks studying hard but still find yourself below the mean on every prelim, then it may be time for plan B. There’s nothing wrong with having a back-up plan in case this whole “going to Cornell thing” doesn’t land you a high paying job. If you can’t land someone who’s able to pay out of pocket for Trillium salads then here are five Cornellians you should start dating now since they’ll most likely be very after they graduate. 

5.) Computer Sciences:
A little socially awkward but that’s okay because these people are going to be getting pretty sweet jobs at Google and hey, you like to be comfortable. Whenever they try to tell you that your major won’t make you any money just remind yourself that they are going to be able to buy you that Cadillac Escalade you’ve had your eye on. So, don’t break up with them quite yet!

4.) Chemical Engineers:
Chemical engineers have traded having fun for dollar bills when it comes to how they chose their major. That works out perfectly for you! Now even if you aren’t entirely sure what chemical engineering is, it sounds really hard and like it has a lot of math which means it’ll pay well once it comes time to leave Cornell’s bubble. That means find one now and lock that down.

3.) Anyone going into pharmaceuticals:
This could be a wide variety of different majors which means “the one” can be hiding behind any TCAT bus stop. If you happen to run into someone who wants to go into BigPharm then make sure to ask them if they can tutor you in chemistry. This one comes with an extra bonus because you’re probably not going to do well on your next exam.

2.) Mechanical Engineers:
Also people who are going to come with an extra bonus. Not only will they be able to assist you with things like rent or paying off that “useless degree” they think you have. MechEs will also be able to help assemble your IKEA furniture when you fail to do it yourself. Win-win.

1.) Anyone with a Goldman Sachs internship:
You already know. However, this one may be difficult because a Goldman Sachs internship means you are going to be competing with all of the other future gold diggers.

So keep studying and working hard but remember to get a little insurance on your decision to attend Cornell because no matter what you do, these people are going to make more money than you—at least that’s what they want to believe.

Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame:

Continue Reading

More from Cornell

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top