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7 Second Semester Cornellian Shower Thoughts

Cornell spring semester means you have that long-anticipated chance to start waking up early, eating right, and getting your grades back on track… or not. For some, second semester is less of a chance to get their life back on track and more of a chance to expand on the mistakes of the first, if this is you, then here are some thoughts you’ve probably been mulling over in the shower these days:

7.) “How long have I been back here for?”:
You’ve passed a calendar and done a double take. You most certainly thought to yourself, “Have we really only had two full weeks of class?” Because it feels like we’ve been back in this frozen hellscape for months.

6.) “My schedule is a complete mess”:
How the fuck did last-semester you think that this was remotely taken care of. Why did you think that once you went through pre-enroll you wouldn’t change your mind twelve seconds into spring semester? You’re in zero of your required classes, you’re on literally seven waitlists, and you don’t think you’re on track to graduate in four years. Why is your schedule like this? Why are you like this?

5.) “Is it possible to have this little motivation?”:
And you thought your first-semester work ethic was bad! But now you’ve worn pajamas to class twice this week and it’s only Wednesday. If you’d literally rather lay on the floor of your Collegetown sublet and think about all the money you’re wasting on your so-called education than do work, you’re not alone. 

4.) “Am I going to get hypothermia if I wear this crop top out tonight?”:
Because it’s five degrees out but you want to look cute for this party, you could get away with wearing a parka. But oh wait, windchill is very much a thing. Okay, then just wear the slightly longer crop top instead, it’ll be fine.

3.) “Is cumulative alcohol poisoning a thing I should be concerned about?”:
And follow up, if it is can you die from it? Because it’s so cold that all you’ve been able to do for fun these past few weeks is drink and now you’re scared.

2.) “This is not going to be my semester”:
You said you were going to studying more, get better grades, and start actually spending time in the library this semester but you also still haven’t seen the new season of Stranger Things and we all knew you were lying to yourself when you made those promises. First semester grades can be your peak, they’re probably not as bad as you remember, right?

1.) “When is February break again?”:
We literally just got back from winter break, but when are we leaving again because honestly we’re so over this whole “going to school” thing. Is it the 17th yet? How about now?

Although there is an infinite combination of thoughts and complaints that every Cornellian has had over the past two weeks, thoughts about grades, drinking too much, and the questioning of scheduling are the strongest that could be answered by simply dropping out.

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